Life changes and we have to make changes and however difficult they are, we just have to get stuck in and do things, make things happen. Otherwise we remain stagnant and this makes it all the more difficult to move on. In the grand scheme of things I’m moving on slowly, in my own time and sorting things out when I’m in the right frame of mind to do things. This post as you will have noticed is very much focused on “things’ and in a way, that’s exactly what this post is about. Clearing out things, possessions, material items because although we may have an emotional attachment to them, they can never touch in depth the feeling of love or the memories we hold of those who have themselves, moved on.
I am of course talking about my parents clothes and other possessions. It has only been in the past months that I have felt in any way ready to move anything, donate items to charity or throw things away. Being practical I know that it’s the right thing to do to go through the various drawers, cupboards and presses. Sometimes I can be quite quick and decisive, I find something and know straight away whether to bin, donate or keep. Other times I have to sit and relive memories before I can let things go. I have donated almost all of Dad’s clothes to a local charity run by the church which gives clothes and food to people with nothing and to help refugees in our city to get on their feet and make a life. I have made a very slow start on Mom’s wardrobe and for some bizarre reason have managed to donate a lot of my own things!
A random weekend that himself managed to be over with me, we cleared out what was Dad’s room. I have decided to decorate it and make it into my music studio/office. Deep down I have the feeling Dad would be happy with that decision. It was hard moving out the furniture and I was overwhelmed with sadness when the charity came to collect it yet there was also this feeling that a family somewhere would benefit from these items and that was a good feeling. My parents were very giving, it is the right thing to do,
There’s a lot of work to do to get the music room ready and I will enjoy transforming it.
I’m mindful of the fact that should something happen to me, himself would have to come and go through everything and that would be hard enough with just my clutter never mind having to deal with my parents possessions. So I am being practical. I know that these tasks need to be done and I know that I am the best person to do them. It doesn’t make it easy and somedays are better than others at doing these tasks. I’m getting there. It does feel very liberating to go through paperwork that has been filed away for years and clear it out and vow not to let that happen again…yeah right, we all say it and it still piles up.
So moving on. It’s difficult, it’s easy, it’s emotional, it’s sad, it’s liberating, it’s happy, it’s any number of feelings all at once. Most of all for me, it’s healing. I can look back on the memories with happiness and feel blessed that I have such wonderful memories and that cannot be taken away from me.
With love and sparkles xxx