Back in the day.

February 26, 2018February 24, 2018 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.5 Comments

Do you ever find that seeing the sunlight, shining through the window, perhaps just onto the wall or the furniture, can suddenly evoke a memory.

I was standing in the bathroom on a sunny, bright yet cold afternoon this week. I had the window open to let the fresh air in and I could see the blue sky, the trees swaying in the wind and in a split second I was transported back to Summer days in my teenage years. We were living in a different area of the city then, just two miles from the city centre and yet so quiet with tree lined streets, huge gardens and a view of the city skyline from the very top of the road which was on a hill. Those were the days that you could lie out in your back garden in the sunshine and have your radio on, without fear of upsetting your neighbours. In those days, BBC Radio One was at it’s best I think. From breakfast time to tea time the shows were fantastic, or so I remember them that way.

The mid morning show was hosted by Simon Bates and he had a feature called “Our Tune” where listeners would write in their story and a song that meant a lot to their story. The stories were happy, sad, heartbreaking or incredibly heartwarming and a more than once I found myself in tears.

Lunch time would be Gary Davies and “Gary’s little bit in the middle”, he had great jingles advertising his show and these have remained with me as sounds of Summer.

These days I listen to BBC Radio Two in the afternoon because the DJ who was on Radio One in the afternoon back in the day, Steve Wright, is now on Radio Two in the afternoon and he plays the music of the 80’s which I absolutely love. I sometimes put the radio on, just to have it playing in the background as I am passing through whilst carrying out the daily tasks and now and again a song will come on that just stops me in my tracks and I stand and listen for a few minutes and again I am transported.

A song I heard recently which took me back to those beautifully happy and carefree Summer days is “The Closest Thing to Heaven” by The Kane Gang. It’s not a song I hear often on the radio and I have downloaded it to my iPod. Every time I hear it, it immediately takes me back to what appeared to be the longest, hottest, Summer days ever.

I have mixed emotions, like most people I expect, when I go back to those days. My heart hurts. My parents were full of health and strength, my beautiful Sister was still here with us, I was happy, carefree and I wonder did I really value those days or take them for granted. I suspect the latter, I was a teenager after all and all was well in my world then. Although it brings happiness and sadness to think back to those days when a song plays, or the sun shines through the window in a particular way, or you hear the wind rustle on the trees and the memories flood back, I feel blessed now that I was so lucky to live those days in the way I did.

I also dressed like Madonna…thank God there was no mobile phones or social media back then!!

Life Sparkles

Christmas Eve.

December 24, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.4 Comments

I love Christmas Eve, for me it has always been the most magical day of the year. That sense of expectation, the birth of Jesus and the arrival of Father Christmas with lots of surprises. That childhood sense of wonder and awe changes as we grow older and we feel different emotions for different reasons. I’m doing my best this year to keep a sense of the magical, to give my parents a happy time. Things have changed so much in the past year. At the moment I’m sitting here hating that Mom feels I’m trying to hurt her or harm her simply by changing her clothes. I’m missing my sister so much today too; I cannot help but think that things would be easier if she were here but as she isn’t I have to just get on with things and hope that she is helping me from her heavenly abode.

However, there has been some happy times in the past week and I thought I’d share them with you before I wish you a Merry Christmas.

Lunch with one of my forever friends.

Girlie catch up Christmas lunch with my friend.

I dropped some items off for charity and had the Church to myself, so beautiful.

I loved the colour of these Roses and so bought them for Mam.

I definitely made the Hall and Porch sparkle this year.

A Christmas Cyclamen hanging basket and a very old Christmas wreath I hang outside every year.

I gave in a joined the phenomenon that is Snapchat. I haven’t got the hang of it yet but I have to say it has made me giggle at times I really haven’t felt like giggling. That has to be a good thing!

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for being so supportive of me and my blog. I hope you all have a truly magical, peaceful, blessed not forgetting sparkling Christmas.

O Holy Night. Sparkling Star bless our world tonight.

Life Sparkles

Yesterday.

September 10, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

Yesterday, all my troubles were definitely not far away. We all know things can happen in a breath and when they do you appear to enter some form of altered reality.

Before I start to relay my tale, I’ll let you know up front that things appear, so far, to be ok. I’m writing this blog post for a couple of reasons; one to help me deal with things and two, to give a little insight into life as a carer.

My fairy of a Mom had a sudden collapse yesterday around 1 pm. Dad shouted for me and when I seen her I immediately dialled 999 for paramedics. All colour had drained from her, she couldn’t breathe, she was boiling hot, weak, dizzy, reteching, feeling sick and barely able to talk. Dad was in a state but remaining calm, I was in stress city but for some reason I’m always good in a crisis. I fall apart afterwards. Paramedics arrived within fifteen minutes and all vital signs were fine, which was a relief, but Mom was still very sick. The decision was made she would need to go to hospital. I ran around like a crazy thing grabbing what I thought we’d need. It was afternoon, I knew Dad would be ok for a couple of hours but he was crying as they carried Mom out to the ambulance. I was trying to calm him down, I knew how he felt, but I had to stay strong.

Mom was very quiet, still very sick and weak. We were booked into A & E and transferred to a bed outside the already occupied bays. I stood by the trolley and cuddled her. She looked so small and frail. The Doctors and nurses were wonderful. We were in a bay fairly quickly, vitals were taken again and were all good. Blood samples were taken as it takes about ninety minutes for the results, so best to not delay. Mom was made a cup of tea, she was more talkative, the colour was returning to her cheeks, she was able to drink her tea and she wasn’t feeling sick.

We then seen the Senior Doctor and a Junior Doctor; lots of examinations, questions, and assessment. Mom was much improved by this time. The Doctor said he would await the blood tests before making a decision on whether Mom could come home. If we were being kept in, it meant I had to ensure there was a carer at home overnight with Dad.

We were wheeled out of the bay and Mom was given some tea and toast. Mom was asking lots of questions about what happened and what’s happening next and when could we go home to Dad. I could see myself she was back to normal by now, but it had taken three and a half hours. A senior sister came over to chat to Mom; she needed Mom to get up and walk so they could check her mobility…and that’s when the mood changed. Mom would not get off that bed until she was ready, she was no longer listening to me, she was doing things her way. After a few minutes she got off the bed and started to walk around the area, bearing in mind we were still in the area where the ambulances bring in the patients and it was busy, with all kinds of ailments, medical, mental, alcohol and here was my dot of a Mom strolling around through it all, me trying to hold Mom, bags and jackets and try to get her to sit down. I was scared she would fall and break a hip again. Apart from not wanting that to happen, nor wanting a two week stay in hospital there would be the panic of looking after Dad too!

Picture via Pinterest

The Doctor arrived to say all bloods were fine, they were satisfied what had happened was a sudden drop in blood pressure. We could go home and I was to keep an eye on things. Hooray I thought, so relieved that all was ok and we could go. Mom however had other ideas. She wouldn’t leave the department, she did not think I was taking her home in a taxi. Mom wanted Dad. I phoned Dad to talk to her, she wouldn’t speak with him. The taxi arrived, she wouldn’t walk out to it. I had to send the taxi home to get Dad and bring him to the hospital so that he could take her home. In the midst of this our Parish Priest arrived and Mom sat down to chat with him. He then waited for Dad to arrive and walked him in to where we were. So now I had two of them sitting in what was becoming an increasingly busy department as evening rolled in…and no sign of going home. I was stood in the middle of the department, with it all unraveling in front of me in a kind of fog, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. It was all down to me to sort this out, do something, but what?!!!

Inspiration arrived. I contacted the lovely male carer who visits each week to see if needed, could he stay overnight with Dad, yes he could. I was thinking I’d have to send Dad home and I’d stay with Mom until she was ready to move. There was still no sign of movement towards home when I returned to them so I called our wonderfully kind neighbour who Mom has girlie evenings with if I’m off to a show; she said she would come down to A & E and hopefully that would entice Mom to come home.

When I got back to them this time, Mom’s mood had changed back and she was ready to come home. So, the three of us took a very slow walk, me trying to hold them both steady, over towards the A & E waiting room. Half way there our neighbour approached, Mom was delighted to see her. We sat at a table and bought tea and I called another taxi. Another very slow walk out into the evening and into the car. The taxi driver was lovely, he treated Mom like she was his own family, put her in the seat next to him and they chatted all the way home. Such kindness was so appreciated. Tea and toast all round, our neighbour came in to chat to Mom and all was calm. Four hours after we were told we could come home, we were home!

I didn’t care last night that we didn’t get to bed. Mom was ok, safe, warm and asleep in her chair, I was happy to be on the sofa watching over her. I had settled Dad to bed, he was worn out after the day.

Today has been a slow, tired out, just hitting me kind of day. Mom did amazingly well considering her ordeal and I think it was actually better that she was in her strong, independent mood as she coped with things better than if she felt afraid or vulnerable. She slept a lot today but she must have been shattered.

It was one thing me going to hospital with Mom and being able to leave Dad alone for a few hours but should it be the other way around, I couldn’t leave Mom unattended and I’d have to be very careful who was here. The emergency back up service will supply me with a nurse but it will be someone we have never met and there is no way around that. This will not be good but I may not have a choice.

Tonight, we have made it to bed, Dad has had some angina so I’m on wide awake alert. Today I stood in the kitchen thinking “this is to much for me”, “I can’t cope/deal/take on all this responsibility” and all the time the quote about God not giving us more than we can handle kept coming to mind. Self-care has come to mind too; I’m tired, I’ve forced myself to eat because I know I need to have strength for tomorrow, if I keel over, we have real problems here.

I need to build more contingency plans, I’m not sure how or who with but I need to have things in place. I don’t know how quickly the emergency carers can be here. I don’t know if our companion carers can successfully cover emergencies. I don’t know if there is anything else I can put in place to assist us…I need to find out. My chap couldn’t come to help me yesterday as he is currently alone caring for his Mother whilst his sister is on holiday.

Ever thankful to our fantastic NHS, we are so lucky to have the healthcare system that we do in the UK.

Here’s to a less tired, calmer, less stressful weekend.

Picture via Pinterest

Life Sparkles

Catching Up.

September 4, 2017September 3, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.7 Comments

After the recent run of sleepless nights it has been a while since I have had an opportunity to update my blog. The sleeping pattern has calmed back down; I’ll never know what unsettled Mom to the point of her not being able to settle into bed and now we go with the flow at bedtime. If we get to bed and stay there, brilliant. If we don’t, then that is just how it is and it is more important that Mom is settled, relaxed and happy where she is.

Well the Slimming World is going ok. I’ve not had huge weight loss but I have had a couple of days each week “off plan” so to speak, I have lost 4 lbs. The main change I’ve found is that I feel much better within myself, less sluggish, more energy and I have surprised myself by enjoying cooking from scratch. Himself was over a couple of weekends ago and we made a Slimming World Thai Green Chicken Curry and it was delicious. Actually I’ve enjoyed the whole cooking thing so much I’ve ordered myself a Vintage Apron. I really throw myself into things when I get going!!

I had a lovely lunch with my cousin Clare who I hadn’t seen for well over twenty years; families hey.

A trip to the city to meet my Cousin for lunch.

Mom so enjoys her Coconut Creams with her cuppa tea. I went a little overboard with the order though, the Elite Chocolate Mallows are totally delicious.

There is a great farm shop not too far from me and I’d not managed to visit there until recently; I met two lovely ladies who I used to sing in the choir with for a coffee. I’ll be making a return visit to the café and shop when Slimming World has ran out of steam with me, there were some delicious looking cakes on sale.

5cbcf446-0efd-40b7-8e5b-0df6ac8b6901 — A visit to a local farm shop who serve delicious Cappuccino. The cakes looked amazing but I’m being good.

Mom and Dad watch Mass live everyday from Knock Shrine. We light virtual candles online, buy beautiful Mass cards and Christmas cards. We watch the Annual Novena every year, the services are very uplifting, the speakers are completely motivating and come from all different walks of life. Inspiring.

e4f7cfb3-d923-4383-862f-0d4ee94a3d47 — Taken from the TV during the Annual Novena at Knock Shrine.

A recent addition to the area is this lovely Coffee shop. So calming inside, I’m looking forward to escaping there for an hour now and again with a book and a large cappuccino.

Fabulous little Coffee shop I located a twenty minute walk away from home…did I mention they also sell Prosecco?!!

So, as you can see, although I’ve not been able to blog very much during August, I have managed to get out now and again; walking, coffee and family. These small breaks have been much needed and much appreciated. Here’s to a wonderful September and a very happy Autumn for us all.

Life Sparkles

Changes.

February 27, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

Recently I have read Blogs, Facebook posts and Tweets which all have a similar theme. Change. People are changing. People are swapping their day job, career, lifestyle in order to follow their dream, their passion, to follow what they feel within is their destiny. I felt in awe of these people. They weren’t randomly throwing caution to the wind and resigning right, left and centre. They had thought hard about this decision. Had followed up training courses, downsized their homes as they would no longer be earning as before and as well as feeling excited about the new page in their life, they felt scared too, which was also kind of exciting.

I started to think about me. My job, my hopes and dreams, my life. Other people were making the changes they wanted to, what was stopping me? And then the answer arrived. Me!!! I am stopping me. I’m in my comfort zone with my day job, I like it, I’d go as far as to say I enjoy it but do I still want to be doing it in five years time? Three years time? One year from now?

So, whilst I am in post operative recovery mode, I have a lot of thinking to do. What do I really want to do and how am I going to make this happen? I’m beginning to think this enforced rest has been sent to me in order to take time to reflect. There are some things about my life I cannot change but there are other aspects that I can change. I’m lacking in the confidence to spread my wings and fly some of those dreams for myself, and that needs to change.

Until the next time…

Picture via Pinterest

Life Sparkles

New Year’s Eve Thoughts.

December 31, 2016 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

I don’t make resolutions anymore, I never kept to them. Although we can choose to make fresh starts at anytime of the year, I do enjoy planning to make new starts, turn over a new leaf at the start of a new year. Healthy eating, fitness, dreams, hopes, plots and plans.

As life changes I realise more and more that nothing is guaranteed, tomorrow may never come and therefore we should live our life as happily and fulfilled as we possibly can, whatever our life journey has given us.

So, eat the cake, buy the shoes, wear the dress, find the blessing in life, love the simple things, go after your dreams and sparkle always.

Happy New Year to you all. Wishing you love, peace, health and happiness.

Pictures via Pinterest

Life Sparkles

And so today…

October 1, 2016 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.8 Comments

And so today, there is time. Time to write, time to think and time to reflect. Life is good, overall, life is great. Life is a beautiful blessing. There are so many choices, opportunities and chances to take. Do we let fear hold us back?

So what if we fail – at least we had a go and that’s a whole lot more than a lot of people do. We won’t be sitting there in twenty, thirty or more years thinking “Oh how I wish I had done that when I had the chance”. There is always the possibility that you will succeed but you won’t know until you try.

What are we afraid of I wonder? Failure or success? Success could be life changing and isn’t that what following your dreams is all about? Not just following those dreams but allowing them to fly, to live, to breathe.

Life is not without it’s challengers, hard times, I know this. But when you get the chance, even the smallest of opportunities, grab them, work on those dreams, plans and talents. Remember, you were meant to Sparkle and squeeze everything you can out of the precious life you have been given.

Have a happy Saturday and thank you for reading my blog.

risk

Life Sparkles

Beautiful Life.

July 26, 2016 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

I’m up late tonight caring for my Dad whose health has taken a bad turn in the last week. Mom has had three episodes of “Sundowning” in the past week which is unusual. It has meant four nights without sleep…tired doesn’t cover how I’m feeling along with sad, helpless, stressed and yet there is a positive, still, patient glow within and around me. A sparkle which reminds me how precious, wonderful and beautiful life is.

Love always, spread kindness and ignite the sparkle in others so that they too can feel and experience this beautiful life.

Picture via Pinterest.

Sleep well 😴

Life Sparkles

Ask yourself…what is really important?

July 11, 2016 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

Over the past months I’ve had it in mind to take a complete leap of faith into a different life. We all lead such busy lives, rushing here and there, doing this and that. Even when we sit down in the evenings we’re connected to social media, the Internet, emails or messages, we rarely switch off.

I wonder why making changes is so scary? Fear of the unknown? Fear of failure? But is it not better to have tried something you really want to do than stay in your comfort zone and dream about it? What if you succeed? What if you fly? It is all possible but not if we don’t take any steps towards achieving the changes we want to make.

Thankfully I passed my recent exam and I achieved the grade two I needed. This leaves me with one final module to complete which commences in October this year. “Promoting Public Health”. It sounds interesting and I’m ready to take on the workload. But how much easier it would be if I had more time. I could be up to date instead of my usual three weeks behind. I could read articles properly instead of skim reading…

I want to learn the guitar. I can’t possibly take this on at the moment with my caring responsibilities, looking after the home, working, studying…but what if I had more time?

I want to spend more time around my parents, looking after them, giving them as many happy days as possible…when I leave the house to go to work these days, I worry about them, I’m anxious about their health…but what is really important, them or the job…they win hands down every time.

I totally understand why people think I should stay with the day job, that it would be wrong for my health and wellbeing not to be engaged in the outside world. I know that being at home all day would be wrong for both me and my parents. They need to keep the independence they currently have. But surely I can plot and plan weekly to suit us all and ensure I’m out and about in the world. I don’t want to go from feeling caged in an office to caged in the house.

Maybe now is the time to reflect on what really is important. I feel I have reached a time of my life where if I don’t take a chance now and do the right thing, follow my heart, follow my dreams, I never will. The opportunities are there now.

Do I really want to spend the next 20 years sitting at a desk, working on spreadsheets…or is it now time to spread those wings of mine and really sparkle ✨🌟💫

Picture via Pinterest.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Life Sparkles

Race for Life!

June 27, 2016 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

It has been a while since I found some time to update my blog. Like everyone, life has its busy times; home, work, study, hobbies it has been a very busy period all in all.

Thankfully the studies are over for now. The exam was pants (don’t ask), three more weeks until the results, I am expecting a re-sit on this one. I take heart that the majority of people on the course also felt the same over the questions set. Fingers crossed I might just have done enough to get through.

Life continues very much the same on the home front, we have good days and not so good days. We have great days and some terrible days but such is life and you just have to get on with it. I can be very tired for days and other days full of energy. On the whole, things have been much easier of late, I’ve put this down to the long Summer days and the lovely bright days, even if we aren’t getting what you would call long, hot, Summer days…I still live in hope for some of those during July and August.

I am pleased to report that I completed the 9 week Couch to 5K podcast and I cannot express how pleased I am with myself that I can run for 30 minutes. What an achievement when in February I couldn’t run for 30 seconds. Yesterday I completed the 5K Race for Life for Cancer Research. I am so proud of my medal. It was a fabulous experience, 2284 women, all in various states of Pink either walking or running 5K. A minute of silence was held before the race started and it was very emotional, I could feel tears in my eyes thinking about the reasons we were all there, raising money for such a worthwhile cause. Really, is there any family untouched by Cancer of some sort?

I intend to keep up the running, I do have a love/hate relationship with it. It is an effort to get ready to go out after a day at work and it is an even bigger effort to start running whilst you are out there. But you know, once you get going, you feel so good, the music plays from the iPod, the wind blows, the sun may shine, it may even rain on you but that feeling of wellbeing, freedom in the mind, exhaustion and yes a few aches, is unbeatable. Sometimes you just need that half hour to escape the real world.

Here are a couple of pictures of me from the Race for Life yesterday.