Tag: Caring

Travel Sparkles.

Carsington Revisited

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Before I became a full time carer one of the places I used to love going for a walk is Carsington Water. Owned by Severn Trent Water it is a wonderful area of beauty set in the Derbyshire countryside. The circular walk is just about 8 miles and it takes you around the reservoir, through countryside, through a small village and back to the visitor centre. It’s a lovely place to go. The visitor centre has lots of information on local attractions and places to visit. It also houses a rather good restaurant where they have the most delicious cakes, snacks and main meals. The restaurant overlooks the wildlife centre, views of the reservoir and also the small shops and snack bar. There are extensive grounds, a barbeque area, boating and cycle hire and therefore it is a great place to visit for families, couples and singletons. I love it there. We used to go at least twice a year for the circular walk and it was lovely to see the changing seasons as we walked through the various areas. I often said I would love to go there and walk four times a year and experience the four seasons on the walk. We’ve not managed this yet due to the various caring responsibilities but we will, one day.

After the trip to London last October https://atouchofirishsparkle.com/2023/01/13/the-london-trip/ we had returned home a day early due to the rail strikes so we had a surprise additional day together to do as we pleased. Saturday morning was chilly, bright blue skies and sunshine so we decided to go to Carsington Water and do the walk. Something we hadn’t done since 2015. We did things just as we did before, baked potato for lunch in the restaurant and then off on the walk returning for the post walk shortbread biscuit with smarties and a cappuccino, well I have just walked 8 miles…

As you can see from the photo’s the water levels are not as they should be. We were told that the reservoir was at 41% capacity and that that particular week was the first week in eighteen months that the water level had not decreased. A very different picture to what we were used to seeing albeit seven years earlier.

It was a fabulous walk and I admit I had to stop a few times to catch my breath on the uphill stretches and it felt so good to be there, in the fresh air, looking at nature and the two of us talking about everything under the sun. This was a completely unexpected bonus day out for us and we savoured every second of it. When we get to do things like this, you escape for a while from real life and you can be free. My caring journey is over however himself is a full time carer and like I used to be, rarely leaves the house. This was so good for him to get out, get exercise and experience some free time which is so important for carers to do.

If you find yourself in Derbyshire or indeed in the Midlands of the UK, I would recommend Carsington Water as a day out. https://www.stwater.co.uk/our-visitor-sites/carsington-water/ and if you do ever go, let me know how you got on and if the shortbread biscuits with smarties are as good as ever. I can also recommend the fresh baked scones with jam and cream. I used to buy those and take them home to my parents as a treat so I bought one for myself as a treat. As I said, I had walked 8 miles…

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles

Everything Changed

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.3 Comments
This made so much sense to me.

I seen this quote recently and it spoke volumes to me. Everything in my life changed, absolutely everything and yet here I am feeling more me than I ever did before. How does that even make any kind of sense? Yet it makes perfect sense. I’m still the woman I was before and yet I have emerged into a new me. I’m still emerging into a new me. I know we change as we grow, as we experience life, as life happens to us. Perhaps our values and our truth do not change, the core that is us as a person, that may bend and shape as we live through experiences and learn life lessons. But there is something about this emergence which has a feeling of this is the me I was always meant to be. That in turn makes me wonder if this new me was always hidden within, never daring to come out and in latter years when I was in my caring role, there was no time or space to come out.

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

I have a sense of freedom, a real sense of freedom that I’ve not experienced before. Sometimes this sense of freedom is scary; that protective wall of having someone to ask about decisions you are making, someone to check that you are not totally off the wall in your thinking or in what you are about to do. My parents were fabulous soundboards. Even if I still went off and did what I was going to do, it was very useful to bounce my ideas off them first and I would take their responses on board before I made the final decision. When I was making my decision about giving up work to care for them, I had a meeting with their Doctor and told him what I was thinking of doing and why. I’ll always remember him saying that he could see both Mom and Dad within me. Dad in weighing things up, deliberating and making decisions and Mom as this amazing, wild, spirited woman. I think that is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me and I love that I have their traits. Without me knowing or realising, they instilled strength and independence into me and that undoubtedly has helped me through the past couple of years.

I do of course have himself to bounce my ideas off and he is very like Dad in his thinking. He is a very logical and analytical thinker where as I go with the inner voice and ‘it just is’ so as you can imagine we have some amusing conversations when I’m discussing plans with him. However, he will point things out to me that I may not have thought of and he would never try to prevent me carrying out what I want to do, he just wants to be sure I have thought it through. He can see the pre-carer me coming through and also this new free spirited, I want to try loads of things me that is emerging.

Stay Wild Moonchild.

From school days there were always people saying I shouldn’t be singing and dancing around the place, I was too bubbly, I was wild, I wasn’t ladylike and I suppose the more you hear this the more you believe it. The negative words which affected my confidence for most of my life. Until you realise the issue isn’t with you, it’s with them. There’s a huge sense of freedom in this realisation and I have seen many a quote state that someone’s opinion of you has nothing to do with you but all to do with them. Sometimes I regret not having this new found confidence years ago but then again, perhaps now is my time to shine. Stay wild moonchild.

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles

Is it too late…

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

…to wish you all a very happy 2019!

For the first time ever Christmas appears to have fitted in around our life at home whereas it usually becomes the main focus of December for us. This Christmas though things were very different at home. Christmas seems to have come and gone with little or no recognition at all. We watched Midnight Mass from Knock Shrine live on You Tube. We had some visitors popping in and out and I did manage to get Christmas cards written and sent and gifts organised. Thank goodness for the Internet!

A beautiful surprise on Christmas Day in the evening when some neighbours arrived at the door with home made soup, Christmas dinner, dessert, cheese and biscuits and Christmas crackers. They knew I would struggle to put together a Christmas dinner as the caring role continues as usual whatever day it is, so they decided to share. To me, this was the true meaning of Christmas, love, caring, sharing and kindness.

A few photo’s below of my Christmas time. I wish you all a very happy, healthy and blessed 2019. (I will continue my update from the last blog post as soon as I can).

I just love this photo, my sparkles and my boyfriend’s trainers.

A beautiful surprise gift from a school friend.

I couldn’t put up our usual tree so I bought a small sparkling one for Mom and Dad. It was lovely to sit and watch the colours changing.

Life Sparkles

Has it been that long?

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.4 Comments

Well yes it appears it has been a month since I managed to get to my blog.  Mid September already, the long hot beautiful Summer is already becoming a memory as we drift into the cooler days and shorter evenings of Autumn.

It has been busy, as usual.  Caring really is a full time, 24/7, no days off, no night off, profession so I take my breaks when I can.  As you know the past five months Dad has experienced illness after illness after illness.  It has been so tough on him, on Mom and on me.  Dad has gone from being able to do quite a few things for himself and his chosen jobs around the house to not being able to do very much at all, so it has fallen to me.

We’ve had a great run again of getting to bed at night, 42 nights in a row broken only the other night when Mom decided to stay up.  So we start counting again.  42 nights is amazing, it has been years and years since we have had any good run of getting to bed and we’ve had two good runs so far this year.  I’m aware that Sundown season is approaching but fingers crossed.

Over the past two weeks Dad has slowly, and I mean slowly, started to show signs of improvement.  He has managed to eat small amounts regularly which in turn has assisted with keeping that dreadful gunk he was coughing up all night and day, at bay. He still has the cough and the gunk but it is vastly reduced.  He is managing to get some sleep at night, another benefit.  He is feeling a bit better in himself, he is chatting more, watching the news again and has even reached for his diary and prayer books.  These are all good signs of Dad feeling a little better in himself.

Mom bless her has been so supportive of him, caring for him, advising him and trying to help him in her own way.  Sometimes she has been very frightened when the cough and gunk has been in full flow.  Somehow we have managed to come through the past five months.  I thank God every night for giving us another blessed day together as a family.

In the meantime, I have lots to share on the music front, some of which you may have seen on my social media which I have stepped up a gear.  I will update the music blog as soon as I can.  I have been reading your blogs as they come through on my email, when you are up at night and you need to stay awake they make excellent reading and I love them, they make me feel connected, thank you.

A few photo’s from the past month or so, with love and sparkles xxx

A random lunch with one of my friends and yes I had that dessert again but we did share.  Love my cup of coffee in the mornings.

Delighted that my Shamrock has started to grow again after the heavy snow and frost had killed it off earlier this year.  My little tubs and baskets didn’t do too badly either this Summer.

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And Snapchap still makes me giggle and does away with the wrinkles…Go Snapchat!!!

Life Sparkles

Strep Throat is the Pits!!

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Poor Dad, what a horrible, horrible, horrible infection infection Strep Throat is. Since my last update where he was just starting the antibiotics, we have had over two weeks of what I can only describe as an absolutely horrendous time. After a week of treatment the Strep had started to break up within the throat, which is good. The downside was that in breaking up it leaves lesions on the throat and tonsils which made it impossible for Dad to eat or drink. Everything he tried, including water, hurt. Not only did it hurt but it immediately caused an almighty coughing session, bringing up what I have officially classed as “Strep Gunk”. We’ve had nights of continuous coughing and all I could do was be there to support him. I wanted to stop the cough but I was yet again helpless.

Week two of Strep Dad was feeling so bad one evening he asked me to ring the priest. Fr Michael was here very quickly. Such a lovely, kind man, he calls every month to visit Mom and Dad. He gave both Mom and Dad the anointing of the sick sacrament. There was an incredible feeling of energy surrounding their chairs, you could almost touch it.

Two weeks on and we have at last started a recovery. Dad is starting to eat again, the coughing is decreasing and we have less all night coughing sessions. Dad has lost over a stone in weight and is quite weak. Not surprising after almost three weeks without proper food. The Dr supplied us with protein shakes which have helped enormously. What was starting to happen over the last week was that the lack of eating and drinking was having a knock on effect on Dad’s existing health issues. It really does feel like one step forwards and two backwards at times.

It’s been nine continuous weeks of infections, with the Strep Throat period being worst of all. The past month has felt extremely solitary in ways. More than once I just sat and cried. Exhaustion, anxiety, fear and a feeling of inadequacy just spilled out. Better out than bottled up I suppose.

Mom has been amazing, she is such a sweetie. Very caring, advising Dad, tucking him into bed and checking on him. The nurse within her returned and only one all nighter which kept me fit up and downstairs to keep an eye on them both. I am now hopeful that we have at last turned a positive corner and that slowly recovery will continue.

Needless to say I haven’t left the house very much at all in the past month. From now though I really must try to go out again as I think I could easily fall into the trap of thinking that I can’t go because I’m needed plus Dad has already said he doesn’t want me to go out because he feels safer when I am in. Although he has also admitted this wouldn’t be good for me. The three of us need to get used to the carer being here to give me a break.

I have one concert to blog about, which I attended at the end of April plus I have managed to keep my guitar lessons and singing sessions going, all within the house and I have news on the singing front. I’ll get these written as soon as I can.

A few pictures that more or less cover my last couple of weeks…that new granola from Kellogg’s is delicious.

With love and sparkles x

So very true...

New favourite breakfast.

Life Sparkles

All At Once.

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

Nothing for ages and then a flurry of activity in a short space of time. I was very lucky in that once again some of my favourite Irish Country Music stars were appearing in Birmingham and I was able to attend. My fabulous boyfriend stayed in with Mom and Dad so that I could get out to see my absolute favourite John McNicholl.

It was the Eve of St Patrick’s Day that the dance was on hence the heart shaped, shamrock tattoo ☘️

My friend and I had a little Snapchat fun before we left for the dance, I just love how it removes wrinkles.

We also celebrated Mom’s birthday that weekend, so many flowers, just beautiful and they are still around the house looking good.

Derek Ryan, absolute class singer, songwriter, entertainer had a sell out concert on the Sunday night and it was just fantastic. A great mix of his old material and the newer material and we were up dancing in the aisles. I hear he will be back in November for a dance so that’s a definite date for my diary.

The beautiful Tipperary Songbird, Louise Morrissey, who celebrates thirty years in Country Music this year is touring with Derek Ryan. A real treat to see and hear her amazing voice.

No further gigs now until April. I have three planned; Nashville, Daniel O’Donnell and Michael English. I make the plans in the hope I get to carry them out. As you know, if it wasn’t for Country Music I might possibly go crazy!

Snapchat Hippie Mode…

Life Sparkles

Night Time Catch Up.

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

It’s been a quiet and settled kind of day. I made a small start on putting some Christmas decorations up. Mom and I always put them up together. This year is really the first time that Mom hasn’t really engaged with me in talking about putting them up. She’s more than happy to talk about Christmas, about family visiting, about sending Christmas cards but for all the discussion she doesn’t appear to be wanting to get actively involved. I have to be careful here; if I do too much too soon there is a chance that Mom will think she is in my house, not her own home and start saying she wants to go home. So slowly does it, keeping her involved, asking advice, asking her to check things. Yes I could do it myself much quicker but I can’t leave my fairy of a Mom out. She always included me when I was a little girl onwards to teenage years and even when I had my own house she would wait for me to be home with her and Dad to put the Christmas Tree up. My turn to do the same for Mom.

I bought a new garland which lights up for the stairs but it didn’t fit properly. Dad suggested the window sill and I have to admit, it looks great there with Mom’s old candle ornament.

Mom and I both love Roses, I buy her a bunch each week when I go shopping. We place them in the hallway, never fails to put a smile on our faces as we pass them.

I found a couple of small vases in a cupboard so I placed some Roses in one of them on the kitchen window. A simple small touch yet makes such a difference to the outlook plus Mom and Dad are enjoying looking at them. I told you… I’m turning “Stepford”.

Our local village tree is up and I love it. I take pictures when I get out and about to show Mom and Dad so that they are up to date and can see what is happening in the outside world, as they no longer get out there. For now it doesn’t appear to upset them. I know Dad especially misses going out and about. Mom no longer talks about going out and the times she has been out; as in our emergency dash to A & E a few months ago, she handled it extremely well, much much better than I had thought she would.

Since I started to write this blog post, we are up out of bed and back downstairs drinking tea. I had a feeling after such a settled day and bedtime being a bit unsettled, that we were in for an all nighter. Perhaps I’ll make a start on those Christmas cards after all…

Life Sparkles

Sundowning, Sleep and Me.

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Sundowning was something I had never heard of until about two years ago. Out of the blue Mom would get confused, agitated, nervous and not know if it was morning or evening. If we did get to bed there may be “room roaming”, Mom would be on patrol within her room, back and forth to the window wondering why it was dark during the day. Some nights we wouldn’t make it up to bed at all. Other nights we’d get to bed and sleep only to find ourselves back downstairs a few hours later. This is what has happened tonight. Last night Mom and I didn’t get to bed at all.

Since the Doctor said Mom’s topsy turvy nights were due to Sundowning I’ve read quite a lot about it. We don’t fit any of the profiles given (typical) however some of the remedies do work for us. Keeping to routines, staying calm and reassuring, making hot sweet tea and favourite biscuits as sometimes Sundowning can come on due to low blood sugar.

It is always worse when the clocks change. When our clocks recently changed due to the end of British Summer Time I was expecting a couple of weeks sleep disruption. We had four weeks where we went to bed every other night. We then had a run of six nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep which believe me was heaven. For the past two weeks we’ve had one Sundown night each week until this week; last night and tonight. Mom was expecting visitors. I tried to explain it was 2:30 am but Mom thought it was afternoon and of course in the depth of Winter we can have some very dark days where night time starts to descend mid to late afternoon; a typical Sundowning trait of switching night to day.

My night out last Sunday did not help things. Routine was upset, I was out and came home late, 1:15 am. Mom was happily enjoying her time with the Carer and Dad. I got into bed at 3 am and Mom got up at 6 am…last Monday was a very long tired out day.

A slight twist to the Sundown is that some nights Mom just doesn’t want to go to bed even though she is tired. This isn’t Sundowning. I’ve researched this too! It seems that elderly people can get so comfortable, cosy, warm and relaxed in their chair they don’t see the point in moving to bed, so they don’t, they sleep quite comfortably where they are. This is fine for them but hard on their carer who doesn’t get a proper night of sleep. There is no change of mood when this happens, no anxiety or confusion. My fairy of a Mom just wants to stay put where she is.

My main issue with being up at night on a regular basis is not only am I lacking in vital sleep but I need to keep going during the day to take care of Dad when he gets up and to do the cooking etc. I did very little yesterday and I’m thinking today is going to be written off chores wise. That’s how it goes, we just have to go with the flow. Keeping Mom happy, relaxed and safe is our priority.

We have had our 3 am tea and biscuits, Mom has fallen asleep in her chair, Dad is asleep upstairs and I’ll attempt a few hours sleep now. The wind and rain are pelting against the window, it’s comforting, soothing and I hope will help me drift off to sleep.

Pictures via Pinterest

©️ @aurorasparkles 2017

Life Sparkles

Caring – it’s tough!

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.14 Comments

Sundowning has hit. The darker evenings has meant that once twilight arrives, Sundown affects Mom so that she is unsure of whether it is morning or evening. Sundowning is such a strange condition. Mom will not go to bed, even at 1 am because she thinks it is early evening. At the moment we are running at every other night in bed. I was expecting this; we experience a similar situation in Spring when the clocks change and the lighter evenings take over. We go with the flow, I ensure Dad is in bed as he has to lie down at night due to his heart condition and associated issues. I can cuddle up on the sofa and keep an eye on things with Mom keeping the door open so I can check on Dad.

Yesterday Dad’s right knee became more painful than usual and started to swell. We thought this was arthritis inflammation as a similar thing happened in June on the left knee; it took one day to flare up and almost nine weeks to resolve. Thankfully the stairlift is in now which it wasn’t in June when I had to flex my muscles to help him on the stairs. The doctor prescribed some strong anti-inflammatory gel yesterday and although the joint is still extremely painful and he still can’t put weight on the leg, the swelling has not increased so far. Again I am flexing my muscles to help him in and out of his chair. 

Yesterday morning I had a hospital appointment for an ultrasound, abdominal and internal. I was supposed to come home and rest but I couldn’t do that. I was on high anxiety the hour I was at my appointment even though our lovely carer was covering for me. When I returned to find Dad totally immobile I had to take over the jobs he usually does. I just left a lot of chores and concentrated on the needs of Mom and Dad, you just have to go with the flow. It was difficult as I was in a lot of pain myself, but you have to just keep going, there is just me. 

Trying to cope with both of them at the same time was so hard, negotiating Mom’s changing mood, helping Dad in and out of his chair, bathroom visits for both of them, cooking, medication, helping Dad to bed and then an all nighter with Mom.  

It made me think a lot about self care, about how important it is for me to stay healthy in order to look after them. It also made me think about contingency plans should I fall ill and also about making a will just in case. I need to be as sure as I can be that they will be looked after properly, with love and attention should I not be here. 

Being a full time carer gives you a lot of food for thought, worries and anxieties. It is also very rewarding and I’m loving this time spent with my parents as challenging as it is at times.


Picture via Pinterest 

I’m behind on reading your wonderful blog posts, I promise to catch up soon and as usual I have loads more I want to write about, I never know when to stop!

© @aurorasparkles 2017

Life Sparkles

Thank you – Mother’s and Daughter’s.

Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.8 Comments

Tonight Mam was worrying about coming to bed. She felt someone would come along in the night and tell her to get up and go, she’s in the wrong place. This has happened a couple of times before yet tonight was the first time I fully appreciated how frightening that must make Mam feel. 

Dad and I chatted to her to reduce her fear but she was still unsettled. We did make it up to bed and I cuddled her in. We talked about the wind and rain outside, about my boyfriend coming to spend the day on Saturday and how he makes us laugh with his sense of humour. We talked about Dad taking ages to get into his pyjamas and slowly Mam started to relax. When I said goodnight to her and checked she had everything she needed Mam thanked me for helping her. I said “you don’t need to thank me, I’m only making sure you are ok”. Mam then said she was so sorry that I’m having the weight of her and Dad around my neck, this wasn’t the life she intended for me. I don’t know how I held the tears back. Now whilst I’m writing this they are falling quietly…

I hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her, my lovely fairy of a Mam. I said “Fairy, where else would I be but with you and Dad”. 

Thank you. Two simple words which when said with real feeling and with real meaning can make your heart feel like it could burst with love and pain simultaneously.

Mothers and daughters ❤️


Picture via Pinterest

@aurorasparkles ✨