Recently I have read Blogs, Facebook posts and Tweets which all have a similar theme. Change. People are changing. People are swapping their day job, career, lifestyle in order to follow their dream, their passion, to follow what they feel within is their destiny. I felt in awe of these people. They weren’t randomly throwing caution to the wind and resigning right, left and centre. They had thought hard about this decision. Had followed up training courses, downsized their homes as they would no longer be earning as before and as well as feeling excited about the new page in their life, they felt scared too, which was also kind of exciting.
I started to think about me. My job, my hopes and dreams, my life. Other people were making the changes they wanted to, what was stopping me? And then the answer arrived. Me!!! I am stopping me. I’m in my comfort zone with my day job, I like it, I’d go as far as to say I enjoy it but do I still want to be doing it in five years time? Three years time? One year from now?
So, whilst I am in post operative recovery mode, I have a lot of thinking to do. What do I really want to do and how am I going to make this happen? I’m beginning to think this enforced rest has been sent to me in order to take time to reflect. There are some things about my life I cannot change but there are other aspects that I can change. I’m lacking in the confidence to spread my wings and fly some of those dreams for myself, and that needs to change.
Until the next time…
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Like most Country Music fans I love Dolly Parton. Her songs, her quotes, her style and her humour, to name but a few reasons why.
It has taken about 4 months but I have finally mastered singing ‘Why’d ja come in here looking like that”. I thought I’d never get there!! I just couldn’t get the lyrics to fit the music. The first few times I attempted to sing it I was out of breath in seconds. I started to wonder why I’d chosen such a difficult song. As the week’s went on and I still couldn’t sing it, I began to wonder if I ever would manage to sing it without keeling over and requiring medical attention and then one day… I just sang it. No breathlessness, no couldn’t get the words to fit the music, no incorrect key change…the girl had got it!!!
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I’m still practising this fabulous song, I want to bring my own emotion to it, to live it when I sing it. If I just think of my own boyfriend in Cowboy boots that will inject the correct level of surprise into my voice.
I have two further Dolly songs on my list; “If I could fly” and “Better get to livin”. I find I am choosing songs which not only challenge my ability but which also have meaning for me.
My amazing vocal coach said that only a lack of self confidence and self belief would hold me back. If I am to make any kind of headway at all I must start to throw myself into this heart and soul. I am a confident person but I’m not good at self promotion. I believe God gave me a voice and now is my time to use this talent. I can do this!!!
Picture via Pinterest.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Looking back on the last week that’s how life has felt, like I’ve been in a tailspin. I’ve felt tired, I’ve experienced feeling envious of other people’s lives, I’ve asked myself “why not me”? I’ve felt anxious to the point of feeling my heart beat pounding in my chest and telling myself to “get a grip”. I got up Wednesday morning unable to put weight on my right knee walking downstairs, today the pain has moved to the right hip!!! What is going on? This is not me?
A little time of silence and quiet thought made me think back over the past months and how a lot of what was my normal routine has changed completely. I am now responsible for my parents healthcare, wellbeing and that’s scary. I am now in charge of the home, I go to work, I’m trying to keep up with my studies and to follow my passion for singing along with finding time to see my lovely boyfriend and be in contact with my friends. Thank goodness for social media 😎
I’m not alone in this, I understand that people all over the world find themselves in the same situation as I am in. But it has taken my tailspin of last week to appreciate how lucky I am to be given the role of looking after my parents and all the other components of my life. Yes, it isn’t without stress but it is also an education, more life experience and a story of love in many guises.
I’ve realised too that by feeling unwell I need to pull myself together and start eating healthier more often. The breakfast smoothie is a winner but not if I spend the evening picking at chocolate and shortbread biscuits. I need to walk more. I need to lose that stone. I need to have more energy and feel better if I am to carry out my numerous roles properly.
I have three concerts/dances coming up in March and April, my favourite Irish country music stars will be visiting my city. I want to have the energy to sing and dance and immerse myself in the night out.
That’s an awful lot of wants and needs but you know what, it starts now. I truly believe there is nothing we can’t do if we set our minds to it. Mind over matter. Self belief. Self Confidence. Ignite the sparkle in your heart and soul and go for it ✨
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I’m about to head off for a walk…thank you for reading my blog 💖