The Music Sparkle ✨🎶

Confidence

Photo taken 21 2 21

Last year I really pushed the comfort zone and did three Facebook live performances, two for thirty minutes and the final one for an hour. I was nervous, scared, excited, thrilled and I thoroughly enjoyed each one. I had between twenty and thirty people watching the lives and afterwards the saved videos had hundreds of views and such wonderful, encouraging comments. During the lockdowns of 2020 and 2021 I regularly did a ‘Happy Monday’ chat on Instagram. I didn’t chat about anything in particular. A little like my blog, I would just chat away about whatever came to mind. Again, I would receive numerous messages telling me how I brightened up a day, or I made someone laugh or just that they enjoyed the chat as if I was just chatting away to them. All good, I was delighted and then it all stopped and I have no idea why. Was it because life started to open up again and there was less time spent at home? Why did I no longer have five minutes to chat, ten minutes to record myself singing a song and post it online? Or did I just stop believing in my ability to do these things?

Note to self.

I admit that the weight I gained over the last six months of last year did not help me with getting out there singing. I’m not a super confident person but I can blag it and appear confident and then I get into my stride and I’m ok. However I appear to have lost the ability to even blag it. As you may have read from previous posts I have taken my diet and fitness in hand and I’m getting there. I have so many plans in my head for the things I want to do yet I always find an excuse not to do them. My hair isn’t done or I’m not wearing make up so I won’t sing into the phone. That didn’t stop me in 2020, I just did it. I have my self penned songs recorded and I have chosen one to release as a single. I want to get some professional photos done for the single artwork and just to put out there to promote my music. I have researched photographers, video makers, music aggregators and music licencing and yet I have done nothing about these things. I’m wondering what I am afraid of? I know this isn’t any easy profession and I know I have to work hard and I’m not afraid of that. I love singing and from the feedback I get, people love me to sing. I can visualise myself up there, on a stage singing my heart out and being so happy doing it, yet I’m scared to actually do it. Is it a case that I am more comfortable with the dream than actually making it happen? The thought of actually taking the steps to make this dream come true fills me with delight, excitement and sheer sparkle and yet that little voice of fear saying ‘what makes you think people want to see/hear/listen to you’ is getting more attention in my brain than the positive thoughts.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I really do want to sing it out with my whole heart and soul, I want my moment in the spotlight, I want to see and hear people singing and dancing along with me. I want to share my music, I want to give people happiness, a giggle and to make them feel good. So, I suppose I really do need to get out of my own way and make things happen. Ok world, get ready, I’m coming…

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles ✨

Still Running…

Truth.

Well, five weeks in and I’m still motivated and in the mindset to get fitter, eat healthier and tone up. I’m impressed with myself, I wasn’t sure when I started this journey that I wouldn’t have slipped up by now. But I’m still going strong. That Summer trip to Ibiza is still the carrot dangling in front of me and wanting to fit back into my Summer clothes, back into my jeans and also get some confidence back to push myself out of the comfort zone I have settled back into and get myself out there singing. 2022 is the year of making it happen, that’s what I said at the start of the year and I’m still aiming to do this.

My energy has increased so much already it’s untrue. I alternate my workouts from a walk around the block, Couch 25K (C25K) and if the weather is really bad outside, I do a home workout with Lucy Wyndham Read https://www.youtube.com/user/LWRFitnessChannel/featured Sometimes it is a real chore to push myself outside, especially in this very cold wintery weather but I always feel so much better once I return home. I have also kept to my dry February, no Prosecco and strangely I haven’t missed my Friday night tipple at all.

Wednesday afternoon has become batch cooking afternoon whilst I listen to podcasts. It has taken some weeks but I have really got into this routine of cooking from scratch using fresh vegetables, herbs and spices. I don’t really make a plan of what I’m going to cook, I just go with whatever I have in and as I love pasta, I usually make some kind of pasta bake. A recipe I found on Instagram and has become a weekly staple for me is for banana, oat and peanut butter bakes. I find with these that I can have one with a cuppa mid afternoon and I’m not looking for snacks and treats to fill me up.

Banana, Oats and Peanut Butter Bakes.

Very easy to make; 3 bananas mashed up, add 40g of peanut butter and mix well, then add 100g of porridge oats and again mix well. Place in a baking tin and bake for 30 minutes on Gas mark 4, Electric 180 c. I find cutting into squares when just out of the oven is easiest. Leave to cool and then place in an airtight container. They stay fresh for about four days. I have adapted the recipe a little over the weeks, I have added cinnamon and also some chocolate sprinkles to the top. Himself doesn’t like them as they aren’t sweet enough but for a semi healthy bite they serve their purpose.

Post Run Selfie

As I write this post, I’m midway through week four of C25K and at times puffing my way around. When there is a lot of traffic or people around I just remind myself of the quote about lapping everyone on the couch or I visualise myself running on the promenade by the ocean in the warm sunshine. That gives me a real boost to keep going. I have my daily cappuccino and have managed to stay away from chocolate, cakes and biscuits. The season of Lent starts this week on March 2nd and I would have given those particular items up anyway so I’ll just continue without them for now. It would be totally unrealistic for me to say that I will never eat cake or chocolate again, of course I will, I love chocolate. And as for never drinking Prosecco again? Never going to happen! For now my focus is on getting fitter and healthier, powering my body to do what I want to do.

Good Health Mantra

I feel this health and fitness boost is another part of me emerging from loss, emerging into the new me and embracing that I need to have a certain level of fitness to carry out and enjoy the career in music that I have chosen to follow. I’m also mindful that I am getting older and that we don’t know how long we have here on earth. I want to do what I can to keep myself healthy, fit and able to live life to the fullest for as long as I can. Starting new careers, new fitness regimes and discovering who you are isn’t just for younger people, it’s for all people and it’s never too late to start. If I can do it then so can you. I truly believe if you really want to do something, you’ll do it. Just start, baby steps if you want to, that first step is sometimes the hardest but so worth it. Don’t give up.

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles ✨

Energy

My mental energy appears to be through the roof at the moment. It must be all the rest and sleep I have been getting. I have thoughts and ideas coming to me about my music, my blog, my website, the garden, you get the drift. It’s all very positive and I’m loving the flow of ideas. I’m writing things down in my many notes books (you’ll remember I wrote a post on my obsession with notebooks and lists). Messages I receive from people about my music page, or a motivational quote I have posted, increase the sparkle. I’ve been told that the motivational posts are infectious and give people a real lift in the mornings. I’m so happy about this, somehow if I have helped someone have a good start to the day, it feels great. I love motivational posts. I do have a fairly sarcastic humour at times so I’m always careful about what I post. I don’t want to upset anyone yet you have to be free to be yourself. Isn’t that what social media is about? Freedom of expression. I will post very different things on FB, Twitter and Instagram. They have very different audiences indeed. I get a lot more interaction on Instagram than anywhere else. I’ve even started learning how to use TikTok. It appears to be the place to be for singers and musicians. It’s all good, my brain is active and learning and I keep getting ideas, ideas and more ideas.

Ideas and more Ideas.

After the success of the three FB lives earlier this year, I appear to have lost my momentum and I have become a queen of procrastination. So I have all this mental energy, all these ideas and I make notes, research, investigate and yet I’m not making things happen. The confidence has taken a knock and I have no idea why. The burnout tiredness hasn’t helped in one way and yet in another, the peace, quietness and reflection has me now full of this wonderful energy. So why I am not putting things into action? I can’t answer that. I don’t know why I have this fear of putting myself out there again and singing out. There is nothing to stop me, I have the equipment, I have the backing tracks and song lyrics and I have a voice yet I’m finding excuses not to do it. I’m encouraging others to step out of their comfort zone, take the leap of faith and make it happen and here I am finding myself back on the edges of my comfort zone, not making it happen.

Woman on a Mission

My physical tiredness is at last starting to ease so I have absolutely no excuse for not getting things done with my music. I have my new laptop now and I can recommence the Women In Music Tech course and learn how to use Ableton so that I can eventually record, mix and release my own music. I’m working with my guitar tutor on four songs I have written with a view to recording them in October. I have songs already recorded that I can release when I sort out the music aggregation so you see, I have it all in hand. Yes, in hand but not out there. I need to take a huge piece of my own advice and just go with it.

Getting out of my own way.

Yes I need to get out of my way and make things happen, it’s down to me and I can do this!!!

With love and sparkles xxx