Life Sparkles

Saturday Smiles.

Tomorrow, or should I say later today (I’m awake late as usual) my boyfriend is coming to visit for the day. I cannot wait to see him. We haven’t seen each other since 23rd September and I do miss him. He is also a carer, for his Mother. His sister lives with them so he has back up but if she is away, or working as she sometimes has to, he cannot get out to see me. 

I don’t have any family back up so it is even more difficult for me to get out or to drive over to visit him and his Mom. I have to be home in the mornings and if I do go out, I need to be back by the time “Sundowning” may hit Mom as Dad is unable to cope with it alone anymore. Therefore I have a slot between 1:30 pm and 6 pm to get there and back and visit. However, if Mom decides not to get up until early afternoon…my slot is missed.

I count myself extremely lucky with my b/f, he’s understanding of my situation, he is kind, caring and supportive of my parents and he supports me. Whatever mad cap, crazy idea I come up with he just lets me get on with it and I know he’s in my corner. He has the most amazing sense of humour and he makes me laugh when I least feel like doing so.

I miss our every weekend dates; walking, eating out, cinema trips.  I miss our weekends away, our holidays, our nights out with friends. Life has changed completely for us both and so far, we’ve managed to keep it together. We text everyday, we talk everyday and we WhatsApp funnies to each other. He doesn’t get me and my Twitter and Instagram life but he accepts that sometimes I just need to tweet!!

Today, (ok, it was yesterday, Friday), during my vocal coaching session (stress busting session) I sang a song I’ve never sang before. “Babe” by the band “Styx”. It popped into my mind, we looked it up on You Tube and off I went. Part way through I started to feel emotional, I could feel tears pricking my eyes. The words I was singing made me think of my boyfriend…

Because he does give me strength and courage to carry on. He has my back, I can totally depend on him, I can let out my inner voice to him; my fears, my anxieties, my frustration and I can trust him. I am so lucky, I’m blessed and I know some people can’t say that about their partners. I certainly couldn’t have said it about any of my prior, let’s call them “life lessons”.

We have differences of opinion, we have to agree to disagree on certain things, I know I’m a pain in the ass and we are very different in many ways but we just work. 

So Saturday I will be smiling, which totally unnerves him as he thinks I’m planning something. If I could just get him to understand “Sparkles”…

Happy weekend to you all.

Lyrics from Google.

© @aurorasparkles 

Life Sparkles


… I’m an unpaid carer. There, I’ve written it down so it must be true.  I’ve been caring for both of my parents one way or another since September 2015. I work part-time, my employers have been incredibly supportive allowing me to work from home and the office. I study, soon to complete (I hope) my BSc (Hons) in Health and Social Care. I love to sing and have been going to see my fabulous vocal coach on as regular a basis as I can. I have a fantastic b/f who is also a carer for his Mother and I have wonderful friends who totally accept that I might make a coffee date with them and either have to break it or rush off home as I’ve received a telephone call.

It hasn’t been an easy transition for me. Although I moved home some years ago to “look after” my parents, I had a good life. Worked full time, out every weekend, had short breaks and holidays alongside the limited caring I actually needed to do back then. Now it is very different.  My only night away from home in two years was when I was recently in hospital having an operation and my b/f stopped with my parents to ensure they were safe. (He has cover, I don’t). I see my b/f perhaps once in three weeks due to both our caring responsibilities and these days I feel blessed if we get an hour together in a coffee shop, it really is the little things that matter.

Life has changed, a lot. I have encountered many emotions on this caring journey. Fear, anger, jealousy, impatience and once or twice out of sheer tiredness and frustration I’ve shouted and then cried bitter tears for doing so. I have also experienced such love for my parents it is untrue. I’ve learnt to look after them but let them have the little bit of independence they still have and to do what they want to do…although I am so like a Mom to tell them off! We laugh, we pray, we sing songs together.  I’ve become more relaxed and less tense, more patient, more tolerant and less stressed out. I feel absolutely blessed to be looking after them as difficult as it can be.

So this week I took the plunge and contacted the relevant department to be registered as the carer of my parents. I’ve put this off for so long and I don’t know why? Wishing it wasn’t true won’t change anything. Now that I’m registered it feels almost liberating that I’ve finally come to terms with life as it is right now. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, this post operative recovery time has really given me time to think. 

There are a lot of things I’ve had to change in my life due to my caring role and yes I do get the odd pang of envy when someone is booking a holiday or a late night out but honestly, I’m so happy to be the one caring for my Mom and Dad, I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Pictures via Pinterest

Life Sparkles

It’s amazing what you can do when you have to…

Someone text these words to me a couple of weeks ago. They resonated with me immediately because I’d just lived twelve days and nights of to me, an unreal existence.

When I decided to start my blog up, my plan was to write about my love of singing, the voice coaching I was receiving, my purchase of an amplifier and microphone and general ‘me’ things. After many, many years I had finally decided to have a go at the one thing I have loved doing all my life, singing and music.

However, life takes us on many twists and turns and mine took me on a twelve day stay in hospital with my Mom when she fell and broke her hip. Mom is always healthy, never ill, strong as an ox so for Mom to be out of action is unheard of.  You tend to go into that dream of unreality, paramedics, accident and emergency, x-ray, waiting to see the bone Doctor…the hours tick by and you find yourself putting your trust, your hope, your confidence into strangers. Strangers who are now attending to one of the most precious people in your life, your Mother.

Without going into the whole 12 day existence, I washed in public washrooms, I lived on sandwiches and skinny cappuccino and plenty of water. I slept in the chair next to Mom and generally helped out overnight. It gave me a complete insight into how hard people work in our hospitals and how lucky we are to have a National Health Service here in the UK.

Mom’s operation went well, the following morning she was up and walking with the walking frame. A week later we were home. Life has changed. For the moment I am looking after everything at home, I am managing to do my ‘day job’ at home but at random hours and I’m taking care of healthcare as best I can. There’s a long way to go recovery wise but things are progressing slowly but at least there is progression.

I am currently petrified of leaving the house in case something happens but I know I have to get over this. I’ve had to give Mom an anti coagulant injection every day in her tummy; this was terrifying to begin with but I’ve managed it.

Life for me is somewhat on hold at the moment, I’ve not been outside in the real world for almost a month, I’ve not attended Zumba class, struggled through what is now ‘Grand Central Station’ each morning and evening, not sang a note for weeks and have only just commenced my latest Open University module ‘Adult, ageing and the life course’. Of course, I’ve just experienced a crash course in that subject!!

I have no problem putting things on hold to care for Mom, and Dad too who is doing his best but of course, there are things that only girls can do for and with each other. Although I look outside at the beautiful Autumn days, I’m happy to give my time to caregiving, administering injections and medication, keeping some positivity and encouragement going and being responsible for someone other than myself.

It’s amazing what you can do when you have to…

Picture via Rose Hill Designs on Pinterest.

Thank you for reading my blog 💖