Self Belief – Dawn. The Sparkle Diaries.

Well, recording day was supposed to have taken place last Monday but I had one of those weeks were I was not feeling 100%. Started off as a head cold which then became a bit of a fever with a sore throat. Monday morning, recording day, I could barely speak, never mind sing so I had to postpone and reschedule for today. Fingers crossed. As last week progressed, I had aches, then headaches, nauseous tummy and more headaches. Thankfully not all on the same day. I rarely get ill so I’m hoping that now it’s behind me, that’s it for a long time to come. I did my lateral flow tests every two days, always negative so definitely not Covid. I did wonder where I picked this up from as I really don’t go to many places or see many people and any people I had seen have not been ill in any way? Life is strange.

I was disappointed at first that I had had to reschedule my recording day. I have been working on the songs I was due to record for over a year and had been rehearsing singing them for weeks. Making sure the timing was spot on, checking how I wanted to sing the song, where to emphasise the drama, the hurt, the pain and the release. However, once I had made the decision that I just wasn’t able to sing and therefore would be unable to give the songs 100% the disappointment left me. Everything happens for a reason so I’m thinking that I must be due to sing better than ever when I get behind the microphone today.

I completed a few modules on the music tech course I’m doing. I also love researching law of attraction and law of abundance. There appears to be so much online to read about these spiritual laws and of course you have to be careful what you are reading and who has written it. I love people who are just glowing with energy and positive vibes when they are telling their stories. The ones who aren’t trying to sell you the impossible or sell you masterclasses. No, the ones who are speaking from the heart, telling their own story. I enjoy those a lot. I do believe that in a way I am manifesting my dream life in singing although I know that I am working very hard behind the scenes to make it happen, I am making it happen. I wonder too if somehow I manifested the strange week of various ailments but not actually fully coming down with a cold/flu/sinus infection. Did I talk myself into having a bad throat? I know the previous week I had often voiced ‘all I need is to get a cold now and I won’t be able to record’. Hmmm, I wonder.

Have a fabulous Monday and a wonderful week ahead.

With love and sparkles xxx

During a Houseparty video call my cousin said ‘Dawn, the flights are £9.99 each way, book and come out for a week’. So I did! I admit I was apprehensive about travelling even though restrictions had been lifted. I decided that if I didn’t go for it, I would keep putting it off and end up never going back out there. I completed the relevant forms, downloaded apps, booked flights and packed my cabin bag. I was ready for off.

Restrictions were in place at Birmingham Airport and people complied. All documentation was checked, I had a row to myself on the plane and mask wearing was mandatory. All documentation was checked at Arrecife, Lanzarote’s airport and the bus company had provided individual taxi’s rather than the usual mini bus to Costa Teguise. Oh how good it felt to feel the warmth of the Spanish September sunshine. We took so much for granted before the pandemic. We could choose to go away for a trip, research the trip, book and go. It’s a very different story now with the various rules and regulations and I felt very lucky to actually be in Lanzarote after such a long time.

It’s so lovely to wake up everyday to beautiful sunshine, to know there was nothing to do but relax, stroll, swim and enjoy the day. After the previous few months dealing with and healing from burnout, this week away arrived at just the right time.

We walked every day, we swam and I was so pleased with myself. I went from four lengths of the pool to fourteen. Although we had our treats, especially some delicious cocktails and ice creams, I didn’t gain any weight, what a result!!! I can only put it down to the exercise. So much easier to go out for a long walk in the sunshine than the cold and pouring rain. Note to self – must push myself to exercise more over the Winter.

The Black Russian with the Guinness top was the best cocktail ever!!

Summer clothes were bought and worn. Lockdown weight gain had ensured my usual Summer wardrobe no longer fitted me (a definite note to self – fit into your clothes for next Summer). There was something so healing and gentle about having the week with my cousin in Lanzarote. Regular readers of my blog will know I love Spain and all things Spanish. I was so happy out there. There’s something very therapeutic about being away from home. I can’t worry or stress about anything because I’m not there to deal with it and that thought somehow completely relaxes me.

Back home and feeling empowered to follow my dreams. My cousin is wise and when I am caught up in my head with all the things I am doing, want to do, need to do, hope to do and yet nothing is getting done because of demands on time. Talking things through with her helped as she forced me to see the obvious way forward which I hadn’t been able to see as I was trying to do everything with no real organisation which isn’t really like me at all. Anyway, since the week away I am far more organised, I have implemented a more structured approach to my week and what I’m doing. No-one can make things happen but me. I am definitely emerging from the hard times and leaving some things and some people behind. Life evolves, time evolves, people evolve. We learn lessons and we teach lessons. Sometimes we need the break from the day to day to put life into perspective, take an outside view and move forwards.

Self belief is a must, whatever it is, we can do it. Take the first step and go for it.

With love and sparkles xxx