Thoughts – Dawn. The Sparkle Diaries.

Yes and once again, the mood attacked me to start running again. You may remember I shocked everyone who knew me, none more so than my parents and himself, that I completed Couch to 5K (C25K) in 2016 and also completed the 5K Race for Life for Cancer Research in a very respectable 38 minutes and then I didn’t run again. Until last year. As lockdown descended three of my cousins and myself started C25K, completed it and then continued to go running until around September when the weather really changed. We are fair-weather runners.

During the Winter I kept fit by going for walks and working out with Lucy Wyndham Read https://www.lwrfitness.com/ Great workouts, all abilities and various lengths of workouts. I really enjoy doing my Lucy’s. This year I decided once again to download the C25K app and get running. The thought of the longer runs filled me with dread. Positive thinking I thought, you’ve done this before, you can do it again. The positive thought was also the negative one, I was going to have to do the long runs again. I have to say though, I felt stronger and fitter this year working my way through the nine weeks and was just delighted with myself that I completed the training.

Like a complete beetroot when I get home after the thirty minutes, I ache and I feel great for getting out there and doing it. Like walking, your mind wanders, your thought process is clear, solutions to issues are mulled over and for me, thoughts on what I want to do and what I need to do to manifest my life and my dreams. Most times I was up and out in the morning for the training and now the runs. It’s quieter and I can feel a tad self conscious as I’m not fast at all, just steady. A few times I went out mid evening once the rush hour had passed. On a beautiful evening or an early morning, the sheer exhilaration that I’m out running, getting fitter and helping my body just feels so good.

I used the NHS C25K app https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/get-running-with-couch-to-5k/ and I’m now using the NHS C25K Stepping Stones podcast https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/couch-to-5k-plus-running-podcasts/ which is for graduates of the C25K training plan. You do need to build up week by week and not go straight to the longer runs or you do run the risk of hurting yourself. I’m hoping that I can keep the running up this time. I have a love/hate relationship with running. I hate getting out of the door to do it and love it when I’m in my stride and that feel good factor when in return.

In other news, I did the shopping…well there was a special offer at the supermarket and you know all those memes we see that say “I run because I love chocolate, pizza and wine”, yep, that’s me.

With love and sparkles xxx

In the quiet of the early morning, before the day gets started, I find myself reflecting on the day ahead and thinking of the days that are gone. It is unusual for me to have time for these few minutes of thought. Usually Mom is up very early as the morning’s are so bright, she thinks it is much later in the day and therefore I too must get up. At 4 am it can seem like a very long day ahead, especially when I have to attend to the day job a few hours later and it will possibly be 11 pm or later when I finally get into bed.

Although it is early July and this morning the sun streams beautifully through the window, there is a feel of Autumn about the day. There isn’t any of the heat of Summer, the morning has a look of late September. I hear Mom walking around her room and I’m wondering if I will soon have to start the day; preparing breakfast, putting on some music, awaiting Dad getting up to join us in the kitchen which will enable me to get a few tasks done.

I’m lucky in that I can go out, see himself when he too is not caring for his Mother, catch up with my friends or perhaps attend a gig or event. Often I am called home from these small snatches of release as either Dad just can’t cope with the day or with Mom if she has a “Sundowning” moment. Not having great health himself, I’ve noticed Dad has become more frail and is less able to deal with things, which leaves me to step in to ensure all is covered.

So, in the quiet of the day, when I get a few minutes to myself I wonder. I wonder should I give up the day job? Stay at home more? Throw myself into my dream of singing; playing the guitar and completing my studies? I wonder about the people like me, some with families of their own, trying to look after their parents or care for other members of the family, friends or neighbours whilst also trying to keep their own life on the go and enjoy some down time.

I’ve had thoughts recently about setting up a FB page for Carers, to inject some positive sparkle into their day. What do people do to keep their sparkle alive in the toughest of conditions? How do they release the stress? What has happened to their hopes and dreams?

In the quiet of the day…our minds are perhaps not very quiet at all.

Thank you for reading my blog 😎

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