Why am I saying this? Because I haven’t managed to stay in bed all night for four nights out of six and at the moment, I’m not sure about tonight.
Mom is having a very unsettled week when it comes to bedtime. On average we experience one night in twentyone where I am up all night with Mom. It’s all part of the “Sundowning” which Mom goes through. Sundowning is a condition where the body clock goes out of kilter; for want of a better explanation. It is especially prominent in the Winter when it gets dark around 3 pm and doesn’t brighten up again until after 8:30 am. The start and end to British Summer Time, when the clocks go backwards and forwards are particularly challenging weeks where Mom can suffer with Sundown perhaps eight out of twelve days. It is particularly tiring for me as I am up with her; chatting, making tea, trying to remove the confusion or alleviate whatever it is that is causing her fear. It was particularly hard to deal with when I had the day job; being up most of the night and then having to log in to work was stressful and at least now, if we’re up all night, it doesn’t affect anything other than my mood, energy levels and plans for the day which can always be changed.
I no longer, and haven’t for a long time, taken for granted the simple act of getting into bed, going to sleep and staying in bed until morning. Something I gave no thought to before, I just did it, has almost become the goal of the day.
I don’t know why Mom is unsettled this week; we’ve had one all nighter, one get up and return to bed four times night (that’s unusual), one get up and stay up five minutes after going to bed in the first place and one “I’m not going to bed” night. Add to a couple of these confusion about not being in her own bed or home and it can be so hard to deal with…especially when you’re tired.
Tonight I inflated the blow up mattress my b/f uses when he comes to stay, (I’ve no idea how he manages to pack it away so small and tidy afterwards, that’s a task for the morning) however, no sooner had I got settled on the mattress as I just couldn’t face another night on the sofa and neither could my back, Mom decides to go to bed! Hallelujah!
Dad bless him does his best, he offers to stay up all night but I have to be strong, he has to lie in bed all night and get sleep, no argument. The lack of sleep tiredness is so awful; makes me impatient, grumpy and absolutely no energy. I thought I was going to cry tonight when there was no sign of bed and my beautiful fairy of a Mom just wouldn’t have understood why.
Whether we stay up here or end up back downstairs is still open at the moment. Between us, I’m praying for a night of sleep in my bed. I hope you are all sleeping well, love your bed!!