Night Time Catch Up.

December 4, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

It’s been a quiet and settled kind of day. I made a small start on putting some Christmas decorations up. Mom and I always put them up together. This year is really the first time that Mom hasn’t really engaged with me in talking about putting them up. She’s more than happy to talk about Christmas, about family visiting, about sending Christmas cards but for all the discussion she doesn’t appear to be wanting to get actively involved. I have to be careful here; if I do too much too soon there is a chance that Mom will think she is in my house, not her own home and start saying she wants to go home. So slowly does it, keeping her involved, asking advice, asking her to check things. Yes I could do it myself much quicker but I can’t leave my fairy of a Mom out. She always included me when I was a little girl onwards to teenage years and even when I had my own house she would wait for me to be home with her and Dad to put the Christmas Tree up. My turn to do the same for Mom.

I bought a new garland which lights up for the stairs but it didn’t fit properly. Dad suggested the window sill and I have to admit, it looks great there with Mom’s old candle ornament.

Mom and I both love Roses, I buy her a bunch each week when I go shopping. We place them in the hallway, never fails to put a smile on our faces as we pass them.

I found a couple of small vases in a cupboard so I placed some Roses in one of them on the kitchen window. A simple small touch yet makes such a difference to the outlook plus Mom and Dad are enjoying looking at them. I told you… I’m turning “Stepford”.

Our local village tree is up and I love it. I take pictures when I get out and about to show Mom and Dad so that they are up to date and can see what is happening in the outside world, as they no longer get out there. For now it doesn’t appear to upset them. I know Dad especially misses going out and about. Mom no longer talks about going out and the times she has been out; as in our emergency dash to A & E a few months ago, she handled it extremely well, much much better than I had thought she would.

Since I started to write this blog post, we are up out of bed and back downstairs drinking tea. I had a feeling after such a settled day and bedtime being a bit unsettled, that we were in for an all nighter. Perhaps I’ll make a start on those Christmas cards after all…

Life Sparkles

Sundowning, Sleep and Me.

November 27, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

Sundowning was something I had never heard of until about two years ago. Out of the blue Mom would get confused, agitated, nervous and not know if it was morning or evening. If we did get to bed there may be “room roaming”, Mom would be on patrol within her room, back and forth to the window wondering why it was dark during the day. Some nights we wouldn’t make it up to bed at all. Other nights we’d get to bed and sleep only to find ourselves back downstairs a few hours later. This is what has happened tonight. Last night Mom and I didn’t get to bed at all.

Since the Doctor said Mom’s topsy turvy nights were due to Sundowning I’ve read quite a lot about it. We don’t fit any of the profiles given (typical) however some of the remedies do work for us. Keeping to routines, staying calm and reassuring, making hot sweet tea and favourite biscuits as sometimes Sundowning can come on due to low blood sugar.

It is always worse when the clocks change. When our clocks recently changed due to the end of British Summer Time I was expecting a couple of weeks sleep disruption. We had four weeks where we went to bed every other night. We then had a run of six nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep which believe me was heaven. For the past two weeks we’ve had one Sundown night each week until this week; last night and tonight. Mom was expecting visitors. I tried to explain it was 2:30 am but Mom thought it was afternoon and of course in the depth of Winter we can have some very dark days where night time starts to descend mid to late afternoon; a typical Sundowning trait of switching night to day.

My night out last Sunday did not help things. Routine was upset, I was out and came home late, 1:15 am. Mom was happily enjoying her time with the Carer and Dad. I got into bed at 3 am and Mom got up at 6 am…last Monday was a very long tired out day.

A slight twist to the Sundown is that some nights Mom just doesn’t want to go to bed even though she is tired. This isn’t Sundowning. I’ve researched this too! It seems that elderly people can get so comfortable, cosy, warm and relaxed in their chair they don’t see the point in moving to bed, so they don’t, they sleep quite comfortably where they are. This is fine for them but hard on their carer who doesn’t get a proper night of sleep. There is no change of mood when this happens, no anxiety or confusion. My fairy of a Mom just wants to stay put where she is.

My main issue with being up at night on a regular basis is not only am I lacking in vital sleep but I need to keep going during the day to take care of Dad when he gets up and to do the cooking etc. I did very little yesterday and I’m thinking today is going to be written off chores wise. That’s how it goes, we just have to go with the flow. Keeping Mom happy, relaxed and safe is our priority.

We have had our 3 am tea and biscuits, Mom has fallen asleep in her chair, Dad is asleep upstairs and I’ll attempt a few hours sleep now. The wind and rain are pelting against the window, it’s comforting, soothing and I hope will help me drift off to sleep.

Pictures via Pinterest

©️ @aurorasparkles 2017

The Music Sparkle.

Dancing Feet and Cowboy Boots.

November 21, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.12 Comments

It’s a while since I managed to post a catch up blog, it’s on my to do list. However, last night I managed to get out to see my favourite Irish music star, John McNicholl and I just had to post a few pictures tonight.

John doesn’t visit Birmingham too often and as I am unable to travel to see him in other parts of the UK or Ireland, I have to wait for him to play my city and hope I can get out to the dance. It takes some strategic planning these days to do so, especially as it entails a late night but things worked in my favour last night and Cinderella did go to the ball. Cinderella also checked her phone every five minutes but that’s how it goes these days. I was so glad I was there. John has a fabulously rich voice and sings not only Irish and Irish Country music but also some Rock and Roll, Sixties and last night we had some Neil Diamond too. John has boundless energy on stage, a real entertainer. He has a great band of musicians with him, the music is wonderful. I was up on that dance floor almost all night, I made the most of the freedom I was enjoying, I felt like me again, if that makes sense? My knees are paying the price today though…

There are a lovely bunch of people I meet at John’s gigs and I’ve made some wonderful friends over the past four years. I was really feeling the love last night from them all. They had missed me posting on Facebook (I had no idea I hadn’t posted there since August), they were concerned about me, was I ok? Was I getting out? I’m still feeling emotional from the genuine concern and caring about me from these friends. I feel so loved by them and that feels so warm and comforting.

John himself is a true gentleman and I am so happy to count him as a friend also. Rumour has it that he is back in Birmingham in January so fingers crossed I’ll be pulling on the cowboy boots and heading for the dance floor again then.

So, a few photos from last night, I was so happy, I made them all have their photo taken with me.

John McNicholl

Shane who plays Guitar in John’s band.

Johnny who plays the drums in the band.

My friend April and myself.

I’m wearing the dress I bought for my Graduation which I ended up deferring until next year. However, I’m so happy with how I look for a change, that 22 lbs weight loss makes such a difference. No wonder I was a diva on the dance floor, I had the energy to do so!!

Life Sparkles

Caring – it’s tough!

November 8, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.16 Comments

Sundowning has hit. The darker evenings has meant that once twilight arrives, Sundown affects Mom so that she is unsure of whether it is morning or evening. Sundowning is such a strange condition. Mom will not go to bed, even at 1 am because she thinks it is early evening. At the moment we are running at every other night in bed. I was expecting this; we experience a similar situation in Spring when the clocks change and the lighter evenings take over. We go with the flow, I ensure Dad is in bed as he has to lie down at night due to his heart condition and associated issues. I can cuddle up on the sofa and keep an eye on things with Mom keeping the door open so I can check on Dad.

Yesterday Dad’s right knee became more painful than usual and started to swell. We thought this was arthritis inflammation as a similar thing happened in June on the left knee; it took one day to flare up and almost nine weeks to resolve. Thankfully the stairlift is in now which it wasn’t in June when I had to flex my muscles to help him on the stairs. The doctor prescribed some strong anti-inflammatory gel yesterday and although the joint is still extremely painful and he still can’t put weight on the leg, the swelling has not increased so far. Again I am flexing my muscles to help him in and out of his chair.

Yesterday morning I had a hospital appointment for an ultrasound, abdominal and internal. I was supposed to come home and rest but I couldn’t do that. I was on high anxiety the hour I was at my appointment even though our lovely carer was covering for me. When I returned to find Dad totally immobile I had to take over the jobs he usually does. I just left a lot of chores and concentrated on the needs of Mom and Dad, you just have to go with the flow. It was difficult as I was in a lot of pain myself, but you have to just keep going, there is just me.

Trying to cope with both of them at the same time was so hard, negotiating Mom’s changing mood, helping Dad in and out of his chair, bathroom visits for both of them, cooking, medication, helping Dad to bed and then an all nighter with Mom.

It made me think a lot about self care, about how important it is for me to stay healthy in order to look after them. It also made me think about contingency plans should I fall ill and also about making a will just in case. I need to be as sure as I can be that they will be looked after properly, with love and attention should I not be here.

Being a full time carer gives you a lot of food for thought, worries and anxieties. It is also very rewarding and I’m loving this time spent with my parents as challenging as it is at times.

Picture via Pinterest

I’m behind on reading your wonderful blog posts, I promise to catch up soon and as usual I have loads more I want to write about, I never know when to stop!

Life Sparkles

Crisp, Cold and Beautiful.

November 2, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

I’m loving these few days of late Autumn, early Winter we’re having. Living in The Midlands of England we are quite sheltered from extremely bad weather. If we get it bad here it must be truly desperate in other areas of the country. The forecasters are saying heavy rain on the way but for the past few days it has been beautiful. Cold, dry, sunny and perfect for getting a quick walk and some fresh air. I feel so much better for making the effort to go outdoors, feel the sunshine or the wind on my face. After today I think the hat and gloves need to come out!!

This afternoon I took a chance and had a shorter around the block walk. I was taking a chance as it was a little later than usual for me to venture out. It was just starting to get dark, twilight, sundown…which is also what throws Mom into confusion about the time of day or night “Sundowning” is quite apt. We had an all nighter last night and Mom was still not on good terms with me (it happens), hence I took the chance to walk.

It was stunning outside, the twilight sunset and the rising of the moon. The touch of the evening mist on my face and the cold on my hands. A sense of freedom, re-newed energy and a feeling of wellbeing. I was gone for 25 minutes and I felt amazing when I returned. Ready to face the evening and by now, Mom was friends with me again.

Such beautiful colours, nature at her best.

Saturday Afternoon Walking – Posing as usual.

Life Sparkles

A Mixed Week.

October 27, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.5 Comments

Autumn has well and truly set in although we have moved from very warm days to very cold days and most things in-between. This particular week of October is a mixed emotional time for us. The 22nd is my parents Wedding Anniversary and last Sunday they were married 57 years. No big, expensive weddings back then; church and then for a hooley at the pub with good friends and family. I’m not sure this year that Mom took much notice of the anniversary. We chatted about the wedding, they talked about the guests, the dancing and going home to Ireland on honeymoon but this year Mom was not in the mood to sign the anniversary card for Dad. I just couldn’t seem to catch her at the right time to do this. However, she was more than happy with the Rose I arranged to send to Dad from her. Not that he minded not having the card of course, he was only too happy to have Mom with him. It was a happy Saturday together.

Mom and Dad on their Wedding Day and celebration flowers.

October 25th this year was the 11th anniversary of my Sister’s passing. It was sudden, a shock and I feel we all changed in some way almost immediately. She was on holiday in Cyprus with her husband, got a terrible headache and lay down and never came back to us. A massive sub arachnoid haemorrhage. I talk to her everyday, sometimes when times are tough I ask her why she left me to look after things all alone. Whenever she loved something, a book etc she would tell me it was magic. On the day she went to heaven I was standing watching out of the window waiting for my parents to arrive home. I quite clearly heard her say to me “it’s magic here Dawnie, it’s magic” and I answered by asking her why did she have to be the one who had to go there to find out. A minute later my niece telephoned to say my sister was gone.

My beautiful sister Christine on her Wedding Day.

Friday 27th, today, was to be my Graduation Ceremony at the beautiful Symphony Hall in Birmingham. My ceremony was to take place in the morning and I was stressed about this. I’m always at home in the morning to help with the getting up, the getting dressed, sorting out breakfast and keeping things on an even keel until things settled in the afternoon. Every email or text I received about the graduation made my tummy turn with anxiety. Even though I had arranged for the carer to be here, I knew, deep down I would be too stressed out to enjoy the day. I decided to defer until next year and hopefully I’ll get an afternoon slot. Wow, that feeling when a weight lifts off your shoulders, definitely the right decision. My boyfriend will still come over for the weekend, I’ll wear my new dress, I’ll drink fizz and we’ll go for our celebration meal…all being well.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Life Sparkles

Saturday Smiles.

October 21, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

Tomorrow, or should I say later today (I’m awake late as usual) my boyfriend is coming to visit for the day. I cannot wait to see him. We haven’t seen each other since 23rd September and I do miss him. He is also a carer, for his Mother. His sister lives with them so he has back up but if she is away, or working as she sometimes has to, he cannot get out to see me.

I don’t have any family back up so it is even more difficult for me to get out or to drive over to visit him and his Mom. I have to be home in the mornings and if I do go out, I need to be back by the time “Sundowning” may hit Mom as Dad is unable to cope with it alone anymore. Therefore I have a slot between 1:30 pm and 6 pm to get there and back and visit. However, if Mom decides not to get up until early afternoon…my slot is missed.

I count myself extremely lucky with my b/f, he’s understanding of my situation, he is kind, caring and supportive of my parents and he supports me. Whatever mad cap, crazy idea I come up with he just lets me get on with it and I know he’s in my corner. He has the most amazing sense of humour and he makes me laugh when I least feel like doing so.

I miss our every weekend dates; walking, eating out, cinema trips. I miss our weekends away, our holidays, our nights out with friends. Life has changed completely for us both and so far, we’ve managed to keep it together. We text everyday, we talk everyday and we WhatsApp funnies to each other. He doesn’t get me and my Twitter and Instagram life but he accepts that sometimes I just need to tweet!!

Today, (ok, it was yesterday, Friday), during my vocal coaching session (stress busting session) I sang a song I’ve never sang before. “Babe” by the band “Styx”. It popped into my mind, we looked it up on You Tube and off I went. Part way through I started to feel emotional, I could feel tears pricking my eyes. The words I was singing made me think of my boyfriend…

Because he does give me strength and courage to carry on. He has my back, I can totally depend on him, I can let out my inner voice to him; my fears, my anxieties, my frustration and I can trust him. I am so lucky, I’m blessed and I know some people can’t say that about their partners. I certainly couldn’t have said it about any of my prior, let’s call them “life lessons”.

We have differences of opinion, we have to agree to disagree on certain things, I know I’m a pain in the ass and we are very different in many ways but we just work.

So Saturday I will be smiling, which totally unnerves him as he thinks I’m planning something. If I could just get him to understand “Sparkles”…

Happy weekend to you all.

Lyrics from Google.

The Music Sparkle.

A Happy Night Out.

October 13, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.7 Comments

I’m a little late in blogging about the Stars of Irish Country concert I attended at the end of September; it’s been a challenging couple of weeks on the sleep/home front but I’ll leave that for another blog post.
The concert was fantastic. Four very different artists, different styles of singing, different types of songs and a wonderful backing band in Keltic Storm made for a fabulous night of Irish/Country music.

First up was Frank McCaffrey, a lovely man with a long career in Irish music and a gentle, musical voice. He sang traditional and modern songs; “When I was a Lad”, “I’ll take you home again Kathleen”, “The clock in the Tower” and “Look at us” to name a few of his hits over the years.

Then came the Tipperary Queen Louise Morrissey. Oh what a voice this lady has. Not a note out of place. Next year celebrating thirty years in the business Louise sang songs new and old from her latest CD, “What’s Another Year” a three CD set each celebrating a decade in the world of Irish music. I got a signed copy for Mam and Dad and it is just heavenly to listen to the voice of such a beautiful songbird. Louise is touring with Derek Ryan next year and I already have my tickets for that concert in March.

Next up was Mick Flavin who is this year celebrating his thirty year anniversary in the business. He spoke to people in the audience who have been attending his concerts and dances in Birmingham for thirty years. Mick has a wonderfully deep voice and can hit extremely low notes with little effort. “Wildflowers don’t care where they grow” and “The old schoolyard” are favourites of ours at home and he sang both.

Next up was Stephen Smyth who I knew nothing about but wow, was I blown away by this man’s voice. He was incredible. He sang, he danced, he played the fiddle and the tin whistle. He sang new songs, old songs, songs from the Irish Showband era of Joe Dolan and Brendan Bowyer. It was extremely difficult to stay sitting in my seat I wanted so much to dance. His rendition of “Noreen Bawn” gave me goosebumps. I would most definitely go to see him perform again.

And of course a couple of pictures of me with Louise Morrissey and Stephen Smyth.

It was a very happy night, I’m so glad I managed to get out to attend the concert. My next Irish music date, all being well, is with the gorgeous gentlemen that is John McNicholl which is in November. Fingers crossed there will be plenty of dancing that night.

The Music Sparkle.

I fell into a…

September 26, 2017September 29, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.23 Comments

Burning Ring of Fire!!! No, I haven’t just fallen in love but I have fallen headlong into a song. An absolutely iconic song originally from Johnny Cash and sang by many artists throughout the years. I love dancing and singing to this when I get the opportunity to attend an Irish dance as the artist usually sings this as part of a medley.

Over this past year I’ve become a huge fan of the US TV show “Nashville”, I’m a confirmed, totally obsessed #Nashie even though we are way behind on episodes. We’re on Series three and I believe Series six is due to air in the US in January. In Series one, Clare Bowen who plays Scarlett O’Connor sang her version of the song, “Love’s Ring of Fire”. I love it!

Regular readers of my blog will be aware that I love to sing; it is my escape and I so enjoy visiting my wonderful vocal coach and stretching my vocal range, I’ve been amazed by my abilities over the last couple of years. I can’t visit her as often as I’d like to and sometimes even practising the vocal exercises is impossible as time just flies and I can’t get twenty minutes to myself to sing. When I do though it feels so good, a total uplifting release of stress for those few minutes, it is pure bliss.

I like to try out songs I wouldn’t usually sing and recently whilst looking up a karaoke version of “My Life” by Billy Joel, next in line to it was a karaoke version of “Ring of Fire”. I couldn’t resist singing it.

Now, I am being extremely brave, I’m posting my version here on my blog. It’s a rough version, recorded on my iPhone, in our conservatory. It makes me unbelievably happy to sing this song and up until a week ago I wouldn’t have dreamt I could sing it.

I’d love to know what you think but please be kind. One of these days I’m going to get confidence enough to get up on a stage and sing…one of these days…

@aurorasparkles

Life Sparkles

Thank you – Mother’s and Daughter’s.

September 21, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.8 Comments

Tonight Mam was worrying about coming to bed. She felt someone would come along in the night and tell her to get up and go, she’s in the wrong place. This has happened a couple of times before yet tonight was the first time I fully appreciated how frightening that must make Mam feel.

Dad and I chatted to her to reduce her fear but she was still unsettled. We did make it up to bed and I cuddled her in. We talked about the wind and rain outside, about my boyfriend coming to spend the day on Saturday and how he makes us laugh with his sense of humour. We talked about Dad taking ages to get into his pyjamas and slowly Mam started to relax. When I said goodnight to her and checked she had everything she needed Mam thanked me for helping her. I said “you don’t need to thank me, I’m only making sure you are ok”. Mam then said she was so sorry that I’m having the weight of her and Dad around my neck, this wasn’t the life she intended for me. I don’t know how I held the tears back. Now whilst I’m writing this they are falling quietly…

I hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her, my lovely fairy of a Mam. I said “Fairy, where else would I be but with you and Dad”.

Thank you. Two simple words which when said with real feeling and with real meaning can make your heart feel like it could burst with love and pain simultaneously.

Mothers and daughters ❤️

Picture via Pinterest