Crisp, Cold and Beautiful.

November 2, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

I’m loving these few days of late Autumn, early Winter we’re having. Living in The Midlands of England we are quite sheltered from extremely bad weather. If we get it bad here it must be truly desperate in other areas of the country. The forecasters are saying heavy rain on the way but for the past few days it has been beautiful. Cold, dry, sunny and perfect for getting a quick walk and some fresh air. I feel so much better for making the effort to go outdoors, feel the sunshine or the wind on my face. After today I think the hat and gloves need to come out!!

This afternoon I took a chance and had a shorter around the block walk. I was taking a chance as it was a little later than usual for me to venture out. It was just starting to get dark, twilight, sundown…which is also what throws Mom into confusion about the time of day or night “Sundowning” is quite apt. We had an all nighter last night and Mom was still not on good terms with me (it happens), hence I took the chance to walk.

It was stunning outside, the twilight sunset and the rising of the moon. The touch of the evening mist on my face and the cold on my hands. A sense of freedom, re-newed energy and a feeling of wellbeing. I was gone for 25 minutes and I felt amazing when I returned. Ready to face the evening and by now, Mom was friends with me again.

Such beautiful colours, nature at her best.

Saturday Afternoon Walking – Posing as usual.

Life Sparkles

A Mixed Week.

October 27, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.5 Comments

Autumn has well and truly set in although we have moved from very warm days to very cold days and most things in-between. This particular week of October is a mixed emotional time for us. The 22nd is my parents Wedding Anniversary and last Sunday they were married 57 years. No big, expensive weddings back then; church and then for a hooley at the pub with good friends and family. I’m not sure this year that Mom took much notice of the anniversary. We chatted about the wedding, they talked about the guests, the dancing and going home to Ireland on honeymoon but this year Mom was not in the mood to sign the anniversary card for Dad. I just couldn’t seem to catch her at the right time to do this. However, she was more than happy with the Rose I arranged to send to Dad from her. Not that he minded not having the card of course, he was only too happy to have Mom with him. It was a happy Saturday together.

Mom and Dad on their Wedding Day and celebration flowers.

October 25th this year was the 11th anniversary of my Sister’s passing. It was sudden, a shock and I feel we all changed in some way almost immediately. She was on holiday in Cyprus with her husband, got a terrible headache and lay down and never came back to us. A massive sub arachnoid haemorrhage. I talk to her everyday, sometimes when times are tough I ask her why she left me to look after things all alone. Whenever she loved something, a book etc she would tell me it was magic. On the day she went to heaven I was standing watching out of the window waiting for my parents to arrive home. I quite clearly heard her say to me “it’s magic here Dawnie, it’s magic” and I answered by asking her why did she have to be the one who had to go there to find out. A minute later my niece telephoned to say my sister was gone.

My beautiful sister Christine on her Wedding Day.

Friday 27th, today, was to be my Graduation Ceremony at the beautiful Symphony Hall in Birmingham. My ceremony was to take place in the morning and I was stressed about this. I’m always at home in the morning to help with the getting up, the getting dressed, sorting out breakfast and keeping things on an even keel until things settled in the afternoon. Every email or text I received about the graduation made my tummy turn with anxiety. Even though I had arranged for the carer to be here, I knew, deep down I would be too stressed out to enjoy the day. I decided to defer until next year and hopefully I’ll get an afternoon slot. Wow, that feeling when a weight lifts off your shoulders, definitely the right decision. My boyfriend will still come over for the weekend, I’ll wear my new dress, I’ll drink fizz and we’ll go for our celebration meal…all being well.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Life Sparkles

Saturday Smiles.

October 21, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

Tomorrow, or should I say later today (I’m awake late as usual) my boyfriend is coming to visit for the day. I cannot wait to see him. We haven’t seen each other since 23rd September and I do miss him. He is also a carer, for his Mother. His sister lives with them so he has back up but if she is away, or working as she sometimes has to, he cannot get out to see me.

I don’t have any family back up so it is even more difficult for me to get out or to drive over to visit him and his Mom. I have to be home in the mornings and if I do go out, I need to be back by the time “Sundowning” may hit Mom as Dad is unable to cope with it alone anymore. Therefore I have a slot between 1:30 pm and 6 pm to get there and back and visit. However, if Mom decides not to get up until early afternoon…my slot is missed.

I count myself extremely lucky with my b/f, he’s understanding of my situation, he is kind, caring and supportive of my parents and he supports me. Whatever mad cap, crazy idea I come up with he just lets me get on with it and I know he’s in my corner. He has the most amazing sense of humour and he makes me laugh when I least feel like doing so.

I miss our every weekend dates; walking, eating out, cinema trips. I miss our weekends away, our holidays, our nights out with friends. Life has changed completely for us both and so far, we’ve managed to keep it together. We text everyday, we talk everyday and we WhatsApp funnies to each other. He doesn’t get me and my Twitter and Instagram life but he accepts that sometimes I just need to tweet!!

Today, (ok, it was yesterday, Friday), during my vocal coaching session (stress busting session) I sang a song I’ve never sang before. “Babe” by the band “Styx”. It popped into my mind, we looked it up on You Tube and off I went. Part way through I started to feel emotional, I could feel tears pricking my eyes. The words I was singing made me think of my boyfriend…

Because he does give me strength and courage to carry on. He has my back, I can totally depend on him, I can let out my inner voice to him; my fears, my anxieties, my frustration and I can trust him. I am so lucky, I’m blessed and I know some people can’t say that about their partners. I certainly couldn’t have said it about any of my prior, let’s call them “life lessons”.

We have differences of opinion, we have to agree to disagree on certain things, I know I’m a pain in the ass and we are very different in many ways but we just work.

So Saturday I will be smiling, which totally unnerves him as he thinks I’m planning something. If I could just get him to understand “Sparkles”…

Happy weekend to you all.

Lyrics from Google.

The Music Sparkle.

A Happy Night Out.

October 13, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.7 Comments

I’m a little late in blogging about the Stars of Irish Country concert I attended at the end of September; it’s been a challenging couple of weeks on the sleep/home front but I’ll leave that for another blog post.
The concert was fantastic. Four very different artists, different styles of singing, different types of songs and a wonderful backing band in Keltic Storm made for a fabulous night of Irish/Country music.

First up was Frank McCaffrey, a lovely man with a long career in Irish music and a gentle, musical voice. He sang traditional and modern songs; “When I was a Lad”, “I’ll take you home again Kathleen”, “The clock in the Tower” and “Look at us” to name a few of his hits over the years.

Then came the Tipperary Queen Louise Morrissey. Oh what a voice this lady has. Not a note out of place. Next year celebrating thirty years in the business Louise sang songs new and old from her latest CD, “What’s Another Year” a three CD set each celebrating a decade in the world of Irish music. I got a signed copy for Mam and Dad and it is just heavenly to listen to the voice of such a beautiful songbird. Louise is touring with Derek Ryan next year and I already have my tickets for that concert in March.

Next up was Mick Flavin who is this year celebrating his thirty year anniversary in the business. He spoke to people in the audience who have been attending his concerts and dances in Birmingham for thirty years. Mick has a wonderfully deep voice and can hit extremely low notes with little effort. “Wildflowers don’t care where they grow” and “The old schoolyard” are favourites of ours at home and he sang both.

Next up was Stephen Smyth who I knew nothing about but wow, was I blown away by this man’s voice. He was incredible. He sang, he danced, he played the fiddle and the tin whistle. He sang new songs, old songs, songs from the Irish Showband era of Joe Dolan and Brendan Bowyer. It was extremely difficult to stay sitting in my seat I wanted so much to dance. His rendition of “Noreen Bawn” gave me goosebumps. I would most definitely go to see him perform again.

And of course a couple of pictures of me with Louise Morrissey and Stephen Smyth.

It was a very happy night, I’m so glad I managed to get out to attend the concert. My next Irish music date, all being well, is with the gorgeous gentlemen that is John McNicholl which is in November. Fingers crossed there will be plenty of dancing that night.

The Music Sparkle.

I fell into a…

September 26, 2017September 29, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.23 Comments

Burning Ring of Fire!!! No, I haven’t just fallen in love but I have fallen headlong into a song. An absolutely iconic song originally from Johnny Cash and sang by many artists throughout the years. I love dancing and singing to this when I get the opportunity to attend an Irish dance as the artist usually sings this as part of a medley.

Over this past year I’ve become a huge fan of the US TV show “Nashville”, I’m a confirmed, totally obsessed #Nashie even though we are way behind on episodes. We’re on Series three and I believe Series six is due to air in the US in January. In Series one, Clare Bowen who plays Scarlett O’Connor sang her version of the song, “Love’s Ring of Fire”. I love it!

Regular readers of my blog will be aware that I love to sing; it is my escape and I so enjoy visiting my wonderful vocal coach and stretching my vocal range, I’ve been amazed by my abilities over the last couple of years. I can’t visit her as often as I’d like to and sometimes even practising the vocal exercises is impossible as time just flies and I can’t get twenty minutes to myself to sing. When I do though it feels so good, a total uplifting release of stress for those few minutes, it is pure bliss.

I like to try out songs I wouldn’t usually sing and recently whilst looking up a karaoke version of “My Life” by Billy Joel, next in line to it was a karaoke version of “Ring of Fire”. I couldn’t resist singing it.

Now, I am being extremely brave, I’m posting my version here on my blog. It’s a rough version, recorded on my iPhone, in our conservatory. It makes me unbelievably happy to sing this song and up until a week ago I wouldn’t have dreamt I could sing it.

I’d love to know what you think but please be kind. One of these days I’m going to get confidence enough to get up on a stage and sing…one of these days…

@aurorasparkles

Life Sparkles

Thank you – Mother’s and Daughter’s.

September 21, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.8 Comments

Tonight Mam was worrying about coming to bed. She felt someone would come along in the night and tell her to get up and go, she’s in the wrong place. This has happened a couple of times before yet tonight was the first time I fully appreciated how frightening that must make Mam feel.

Dad and I chatted to her to reduce her fear but she was still unsettled. We did make it up to bed and I cuddled her in. We talked about the wind and rain outside, about my boyfriend coming to spend the day on Saturday and how he makes us laugh with his sense of humour. We talked about Dad taking ages to get into his pyjamas and slowly Mam started to relax. When I said goodnight to her and checked she had everything she needed Mam thanked me for helping her. I said “you don’t need to thank me, I’m only making sure you are ok”. Mam then said she was so sorry that I’m having the weight of her and Dad around my neck, this wasn’t the life she intended for me. I don’t know how I held the tears back. Now whilst I’m writing this they are falling quietly…

I hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her, my lovely fairy of a Mam. I said “Fairy, where else would I be but with you and Dad”.

Thank you. Two simple words which when said with real feeling and with real meaning can make your heart feel like it could burst with love and pain simultaneously.

Mothers and daughters ❤️

Picture via Pinterest

@aurorasparkles ✨

The Music Sparkle.

New Music.

September 19, 2017September 18, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.3 Comments

Our fabulous Irish Music stars have a host of recently released new music, these are very popular songs already and are featuring on the various Country Music shows on Keep it Country TV and also on the various internet radio stations.

The second single from the forthcoming new album “The Fire” and filmed in and around County Carlow (where my Dad is from), this is another sure fire hit for Derek Ryan.

I can’t help but feel this one was released a little late in the season as the children are now back at school. Once again Nathan Carter pulls a hit out of the hat.

What can I say about the latest offering from the fabulous Michael English. You’ll definitely want to get up and dance. Taken from the forthcoming live DVD filmed in Killarney, I cannot wait to see the whole DVD, a must for my Christmas list.

I really enjoy Gerry Guthrie singing, he has developed his own identifiable sound. This is a great track and a lovely video.

Robert Mizzell has a wonderful voice. Originally from Louisiana and now living in Ireland, Robert is extremely popular. I’ve not seen him live yet but I hope he will tour the UK. This is a beautiful song and video. All proceeds to Marie Keating Foundation.

http://www.mariekeating.ie

I hope you have enjoyed my selection of the latest releases, no doubt I’ll sharing more in the next few weeks…

@aurorasparkles

Life Sparkles

Yesterday.

September 10, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.6 Comments

Yesterday, all my troubles were definitely not far away. We all know things can happen in a breath and when they do you appear to enter some form of altered reality.

Before I start to relay my tale, I’ll let you know up front that things appear, so far, to be ok. I’m writing this blog post for a couple of reasons; one to help me deal with things and two, to give a little insight into life as a carer.

My fairy of a Mom had a sudden collapse yesterday around 1 pm. Dad shouted for me and when I seen her I immediately dialled 999 for paramedics. All colour had drained from her, she couldn’t breathe, she was boiling hot, weak, dizzy, reteching, feeling sick and barely able to talk. Dad was in a state but remaining calm, I was in stress city but for some reason I’m always good in a crisis. I fall apart afterwards. Paramedics arrived within fifteen minutes and all vital signs were fine, which was a relief, but Mom was still very sick. The decision was made she would need to go to hospital. I ran around like a crazy thing grabbing what I thought we’d need. It was afternoon, I knew Dad would be ok for a couple of hours but he was crying as they carried Mom out to the ambulance. I was trying to calm him down, I knew how he felt, but I had to stay strong.

Mom was very quiet, still very sick and weak. We were booked into A & E and transferred to a bed outside the already occupied bays. I stood by the trolley and cuddled her. She looked so small and frail. The Doctors and nurses were wonderful. We were in a bay fairly quickly, vitals were taken again and were all good. Blood samples were taken as it takes about ninety minutes for the results, so best to not delay. Mom was made a cup of tea, she was more talkative, the colour was returning to her cheeks, she was able to drink her tea and she wasn’t feeling sick.

We then seen the Senior Doctor and a Junior Doctor; lots of examinations, questions, and assessment. Mom was much improved by this time. The Doctor said he would await the blood tests before making a decision on whether Mom could come home. If we were being kept in, it meant I had to ensure there was a carer at home overnight with Dad.

We were wheeled out of the bay and Mom was given some tea and toast. Mom was asking lots of questions about what happened and what’s happening next and when could we go home to Dad. I could see myself she was back to normal by now, but it had taken three and a half hours. A senior sister came over to chat to Mom; she needed Mom to get up and walk so they could check her mobility…and that’s when the mood changed. Mom would not get off that bed until she was ready, she was no longer listening to me, she was doing things her way. After a few minutes she got off the bed and started to walk around the area, bearing in mind we were still in the area where the ambulances bring in the patients and it was busy, with all kinds of ailments, medical, mental, alcohol and here was my dot of a Mom strolling around through it all, me trying to hold Mom, bags and jackets and try to get her to sit down. I was scared she would fall and break a hip again. Apart from not wanting that to happen, nor wanting a two week stay in hospital there would be the panic of looking after Dad too!

Picture via Pinterest

The Doctor arrived to say all bloods were fine, they were satisfied what had happened was a sudden drop in blood pressure. We could go home and I was to keep an eye on things. Hooray I thought, so relieved that all was ok and we could go. Mom however had other ideas. She wouldn’t leave the department, she did not think I was taking her home in a taxi. Mom wanted Dad. I phoned Dad to talk to her, she wouldn’t speak with him. The taxi arrived, she wouldn’t walk out to it. I had to send the taxi home to get Dad and bring him to the hospital so that he could take her home. In the midst of this our Parish Priest arrived and Mom sat down to chat with him. He then waited for Dad to arrive and walked him in to where we were. So now I had two of them sitting in what was becoming an increasingly busy department as evening rolled in…and no sign of going home. I was stood in the middle of the department, with it all unraveling in front of me in a kind of fog, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. It was all down to me to sort this out, do something, but what?!!!

Inspiration arrived. I contacted the lovely male carer who visits each week to see if needed, could he stay overnight with Dad, yes he could. I was thinking I’d have to send Dad home and I’d stay with Mom until she was ready to move. There was still no sign of movement towards home when I returned to them so I called our wonderfully kind neighbour who Mom has girlie evenings with if I’m off to a show; she said she would come down to A & E and hopefully that would entice Mom to come home.

When I got back to them this time, Mom’s mood had changed back and she was ready to come home. So, the three of us took a very slow walk, me trying to hold them both steady, over towards the A & E waiting room. Half way there our neighbour approached, Mom was delighted to see her. We sat at a table and bought tea and I called another taxi. Another very slow walk out into the evening and into the car. The taxi driver was lovely, he treated Mom like she was his own family, put her in the seat next to him and they chatted all the way home. Such kindness was so appreciated. Tea and toast all round, our neighbour came in to chat to Mom and all was calm. Four hours after we were told we could come home, we were home!

I didn’t care last night that we didn’t get to bed. Mom was ok, safe, warm and asleep in her chair, I was happy to be on the sofa watching over her. I had settled Dad to bed, he was worn out after the day.

Today has been a slow, tired out, just hitting me kind of day. Mom did amazingly well considering her ordeal and I think it was actually better that she was in her strong, independent mood as she coped with things better than if she felt afraid or vulnerable. She slept a lot today but she must have been shattered.

It was one thing me going to hospital with Mom and being able to leave Dad alone for a few hours but should it be the other way around, I couldn’t leave Mom unattended and I’d have to be very careful who was here. The emergency back up service will supply me with a nurse but it will be someone we have never met and there is no way around that. This will not be good but I may not have a choice.

Tonight, we have made it to bed, Dad has had some angina so I’m on wide awake alert. Today I stood in the kitchen thinking “this is to much for me”, “I can’t cope/deal/take on all this responsibility” and all the time the quote about God not giving us more than we can handle kept coming to mind. Self-care has come to mind too; I’m tired, I’ve forced myself to eat because I know I need to have strength for tomorrow, if I keel over, we have real problems here.

I need to build more contingency plans, I’m not sure how or who with but I need to have things in place. I don’t know how quickly the emergency carers can be here. I don’t know if our companion carers can successfully cover emergencies. I don’t know if there is anything else I can put in place to assist us…I need to find out. My chap couldn’t come to help me yesterday as he is currently alone caring for his Mother whilst his sister is on holiday.

Ever thankful to our fantastic NHS, we are so lucky to have the healthcare system that we do in the UK.

Here’s to a less tired, calmer, less stressful weekend.

Picture via Pinterest

Life Sparkles

Catching Up.

September 4, 2017September 3, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.7 Comments

After the recent run of sleepless nights it has been a while since I have had an opportunity to update my blog. The sleeping pattern has calmed back down; I’ll never know what unsettled Mom to the point of her not being able to settle into bed and now we go with the flow at bedtime. If we get to bed and stay there, brilliant. If we don’t, then that is just how it is and it is more important that Mom is settled, relaxed and happy where she is.

Well the Slimming World is going ok. I’ve not had huge weight loss but I have had a couple of days each week “off plan” so to speak, I have lost 4 lbs. The main change I’ve found is that I feel much better within myself, less sluggish, more energy and I have surprised myself by enjoying cooking from scratch. Himself was over a couple of weekends ago and we made a Slimming World Thai Green Chicken Curry and it was delicious. Actually I’ve enjoyed the whole cooking thing so much I’ve ordered myself a Vintage Apron. I really throw myself into things when I get going!!

I had a lovely lunch with my cousin Clare who I hadn’t seen for well over twenty years; families hey.

A trip to the city to meet my Cousin for lunch.

Mom so enjoys her Coconut Creams with her cuppa tea. I went a little overboard with the order though, the Elite Chocolate Mallows are totally delicious.

There is a great farm shop not too far from me and I’d not managed to visit there until recently; I met two lovely ladies who I used to sing in the choir with for a coffee. I’ll be making a return visit to the café and shop when Slimming World has ran out of steam with me, there were some delicious looking cakes on sale.

5cbcf446-0efd-40b7-8e5b-0df6ac8b6901 — A visit to a local farm shop who serve delicious Cappuccino. The cakes looked amazing but I’m being good.

Mom and Dad watch Mass live everyday from Knock Shrine. We light virtual candles online, buy beautiful Mass cards and Christmas cards. We watch the Annual Novena every year, the services are very uplifting, the speakers are completely motivating and come from all different walks of life. Inspiring.

e4f7cfb3-d923-4383-862f-0d4ee94a3d47 — Taken from the TV during the Annual Novena at Knock Shrine.

A recent addition to the area is this lovely Coffee shop. So calming inside, I’m looking forward to escaping there for an hour now and again with a book and a large cappuccino.

Fabulous little Coffee shop I located a twenty minute walk away from home…did I mention they also sell Prosecco?!!

So, as you can see, although I’ve not been able to blog very much during August, I have managed to get out now and again; walking, coffee and family. These small breaks have been much needed and much appreciated. Here’s to a wonderful September and a very happy Autumn for us all.

The Music Sparkle.

Gigs, Dancing and Tours.

September 3, 2017 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.3 Comments

There are a few Irish music gigs coming up both in the UK and Ireland over the next few months I thought I’d just list a couple of what I think are really good ones, ones definitely worth buying a ticket for and attending.

I have a ticket to the Birmingham concert, Louise Morrissey has the most beautiful voice. Louise has recently released the Johnny Logan Irish Eurovision winning song “What’s Another Year”, a really wonderful version of a fabulous song.

Michael English Irish Concert Tour Dates.

Michael English kicks of a huge Irish Concert Tour next month in Dublin accompanied by the legend that is Brendan Shine. Michael will be touring the UK again next Spring, I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for the tickets.

You know I’ve already secured my tickets – Whoop!!

A mini tour next March in the UK by a class singer/songwriter Derek Ryan. I try to go and see Derek Ryan every time he is in Birmingham, whether it is a dance or a concert it is always a fabulous night out.

There are some big names from the Irish Country Music scene appearing at The Ryandale, Moy. Ireland appears to be full of Country Music venues and there always seems to be such great bands on. Festival season is coming to an end so hopefully a few of these will head for the UK over the Winter months.

Dancing a Dixie’s is a great night out in Stradbally, Co Laois. Every Friday evening see either established stars, up and coming stars and lesser know singers. Entrance price includes a bar meal and Dixie’s offer special nights from time to time.

Music is my magic potion, it can enhance and improve my mood tenfold, I can escape into the memories, the emotions and the sheer fun of some tracks. Are you a music lover? What is your favourite genre? What track really makes you sparkle?