Tonight Mam was worrying about coming to bed. She felt someone would come along in the night and tell her to get up and go, she’s in the wrong place. This has happened a couple of times before yet tonight was the first time I fully appreciated how frightening that must make Mam feel.
Dad and I chatted to her to reduce her fear but she was still unsettled. We did make it up to bed and I cuddled her in. We talked about the wind and rain outside, about my boyfriend coming to spend the day on Saturday and how he makes us laugh with his sense of humour. We talked about Dad taking ages to get into his pyjamas and slowly Mam started to relax. When I said goodnight to her and checked she had everything she needed Mam thanked me for helping her. I said “you don’t need to thank me, I’m only making sure you are ok”. Mam then said she was so sorry that I’m having the weight of her and Dad around my neck, this wasn’t the life she intended for me. I don’t know how I held the tears back. Now whilst I’m writing this they are falling quietly…
I hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her, my lovely fairy of a Mam. I said “Fairy, where else would I be but with you and Dad”.
Thank you. Two simple words which when said with real feeling and with real meaning can make your heart feel like it could burst with love and pain simultaneously.
Mothers and daughters ❤️