Sometimes I have everything and nothing to say. My mind can be full of thoughts, ideas for blog posts, ideas for the future, to try this, to re-visit that and sometimes I don’t do any of them. I have lists; lists to remind me to read the electric meter and send the reading in, lists of the shopping to do, lists of upcoming birthdays, medical appointments and repeat prescriptions for my parents, to do lists for work, lyrics and backing track lists and study lists…and sometimes nothing gets done and yet all gets done on time.
It has been a strange month for me. Pre-operation I had visions of me being up, about and active within a couple of days and spending my sick leave time from the day job catching up on loads of things associated with home. Oh how wrong I was!! Post operation was very different from my ‘plan’. Almost four weeks on although much stronger I am far from fully recovered. This process has given me time to think…a lot of time to think. I have learnt that I have to listen to my body. I have learnt to slow right down and rest. I have learnt to walk slowly, to do things slowly and to be thankful for all the blessings I have in my life. Walking in the garden last week building up my mobility, I took notice of the flowers and trees as they started to bloom, their beauty, renewal and promise of the future. I usually glance at the garden when passing by at speed, passing by without really appreciating the beauty in front of me.
One item in the garden I have always taken notice of is the Willow Tree, I love it. I love how it dances, sways to the breeze, zumba’s to the gales and tip toes gently to the slightest breath of air. I watch it through all the seasons, bare in the Winter and glinting in the high Summer sunshine. It brings me peace. I captured a Spring breeze blowing the new growth last week, it brings such calmness when I watch it.
The days have gone by quickly even though some days it feels as if I haven’t achieved very much, but I’m healing and perhaps some days that is just enough to be doing. I remember in the weeks before my operation that I was struggling somewhat. Walking through the station after getting off the train and then walking across the city to the office, it felt like such an effort. I was tired. Caring, Sundown nights, working, studying, looking after the home…it was all starting to wear me out. I believe God sent me something to make me stop. To make me rest, to open my eyes and look around and stop trying to do everything and be everywhere at a hundred miles an hour and just be.
By slowing me down, God has got me to wake up and smell the Roses and the blossoms of life.
Dawn. The Sparkle Diaries. 