Life Sparkles ✨

Thank you – Mother’s and Daughter’s.

Tonight Mam was worrying about coming to bed. She felt someone would come along in the night and tell her to get up and go, she’s in the wrong place. This has happened a couple of times before yet tonight was the first time I fully appreciated how frightening that must make Mam feel. 

Dad and I chatted to her to reduce her fear but she was still unsettled. We did make it up to bed and I cuddled her in. We talked about the wind and rain outside, about my boyfriend coming to spend the day on Saturday and how he makes us laugh with his sense of humour. We talked about Dad taking ages to get into his pyjamas and slowly Mam started to relax. When I said goodnight to her and checked she had everything she needed Mam thanked me for helping her. I said “you don’t need to thank me, I’m only making sure you are ok”. Mam then said she was so sorry that I’m having the weight of her and Dad around my neck, this wasn’t the life she intended for me. I don’t know how I held the tears back. Now whilst I’m writing this they are falling quietly…

I hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her, my lovely fairy of a Mam. I said “Fairy, where else would I be but with you and Dad”. 

Thank you. Two simple words which when said with real feeling and with real meaning can make your heart feel like it could burst with love and pain simultaneously.

Mothers and daughters ❤️

Picture via Pinterest

@aurorasparkles ✨

Life Sparkles ✨

It’s amazing what you can do when you have to…

Someone text these words to me a couple of weeks ago. They resonated with me immediately because I’d just lived twelve days and nights of to me, an unreal existence.

When I decided to start my blog up, my plan was to write about my love of singing, the voice coaching I was receiving, my purchase of an amplifier and microphone and general ‘me’ things. After many, many years I had finally decided to have a go at the one thing I have loved doing all my life, singing and music.

However, life takes us on many twists and turns and mine took me on a twelve day stay in hospital with my Mom when she fell and broke her hip. Mom is always healthy, never ill, strong as an ox so for Mom to be out of action is unheard of.  You tend to go into that dream of unreality, paramedics, accident and emergency, x-ray, waiting to see the bone Doctor…the hours tick by and you find yourself putting your trust, your hope, your confidence into strangers. Strangers who are now attending to one of the most precious people in your life, your Mother.

Without going into the whole 12 day existence, I washed in public washrooms, I lived on sandwiches and skinny cappuccino and plenty of water. I slept in the chair next to Mom and generally helped out overnight. It gave me a complete insight into how hard people work in our hospitals and how lucky we are to have a National Health Service here in the UK.

Mom’s operation went well, the following morning she was up and walking with the walking frame. A week later we were home. Life has changed. For the moment I am looking after everything at home, I am managing to do my ‘day job’ at home but at random hours and I’m taking care of healthcare as best I can. There’s a long way to go recovery wise but things are progressing slowly but at least there is progression.

I am currently petrified of leaving the house in case something happens but I know I have to get over this. I’ve had to give Mom an anti coagulant injection every day in her tummy; this was terrifying to begin with but I’ve managed it.

Life for me is somewhat on hold at the moment, I’ve not been outside in the real world for almost a month, I’ve not attended Zumba class, struggled through what is now ‘Grand Central Station’ each morning and evening, not sang a note for weeks and have only just commenced my latest Open University module ‘Adult, ageing and the life course’. Of course, I’ve just experienced a crash course in that subject!!

I have no problem putting things on hold to care for Mom, and Dad too who is doing his best but of course, there are things that only girls can do for and with each other. Although I look outside at the beautiful Autumn days, I’m happy to give my time to caregiving, administering injections and medication, keeping some positivity and encouragement going and being responsible for someone other than myself.

It’s amazing what you can do when you have to…

Picture via Rose Hill Designs on Pinterest.

Thank you for reading my blog 💖