Well with everything that has happened and is happening in my life, the music has well and truly taken more than a backseat. I think it’s probably in another vehicle, on another road in a completely different City to me – that’s how distant and disengaged I have been from my music. Lots of very well meaning friends have said “get back to your singing you’ll feel better”, or “pick up your guitar and strum” you’ll feel better. I tried. I didn’t feel better. Music was a huge part of my life with my Mom and Dad, there wasn’t a day that there wasn’t a radio on, You Tube on, Keep it Country on, and all of us singing at one time or another during the day. We loved the music. My parents were so proud of me for following my dream but the dream doesn’t hold the same promise anymore.
My lovely guitar tutor on my first session with him recently suggested that we leave my usual genres of Country Music and Irish Music alone for a while. It could be too sad for me. So in order to get back to playing guitar and relearning the chords, we’ll try different genres. Great idea!! I did the same when I returned to my vocal coach and I sang some hits from the 1970’s. “Cherish” by Kool and the Gang. “Native New Yorker” from Odyssey. 1980’s and a beautiful song from Sade “Smooth Operator” and a more recent hit from Bryan Adams “You belong to me”. This was liberating and dare I say it, I enjoyed singing again.
I bought myself a new guitar book which has a range of songs within it. I printed off some other songs from the internet which just happen to be Country…it would appear I can’t leave Country Music alone. However, I am sitting a strumming this week for half an hour a day, the chords are returning and the tops of my fingers really hurt again as they harden up with the pushing down on the strings. (I have an acoustic guitar which has metal strings).
I returned to the choir recently although I sat in the back row and didn’t really sing out as my voice is still stressed, it will return in time. I have lost a lot of confidence. I know myself I am not the woman I was; confident, independent, fearless. The trauma of the year so far has stripped me of me. My confidence has been bolstered though when I looked at my You Tube channel Dawn Maxwell Music and seen that there has been a lot of activity recently with people watching/listening to the few videos I have on there. That made me happy.
The new Guitar book. Some are way too advanced for me yet but looking through the book I can see quite a few that I do know the chords so I will have a go at those and yes, there are a few country songs in there!
I have been told by many people that if you are into your music, then the music will help you heal. I’m beginning to think they are right. If I take it slowly, not push myself, stay away from the songs that break my heart for now, maybe, just maybe it is time for the show to go on.
With love, sparkles and country music xx
Dawn. The Sparkle Diaries. 