Caffeine and Confidence

July 11, 2022July 9, 2022 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

I do love my cup of coffee in the mornings, in fact I have two cups in the morning. Not huge cups of coffee and not strong coffee but I do love my caffeine fix. If you follow me on social media you probably know that I absolutely adore a skinny cappuccino and that’s a real treat to have one of those.

Confidence, well, that’s something I’m not so good at having on a daily basis. Some days I get up and I feel like I can take on the world and other days I wonder what on earth am I doing following a dream. Shouldn’t I just stop messing about and get a ‘proper’ job? The inner dialogue is incredible at times. Isn’t it amazing how we can talk ourselves in and out of doing things? Things become harder than we thought they would be so we say ‘oh well, this is too much work and for what, I’ll probably fail’ but what if we succeed and we have given up with the finishing line in the distance but just out of sight?

I have waivered over the past few months with the music career. I found researching the music licensing quite difficult. There was so much to read, so many takes on what should or shouldn’t be done. Thankfully I had decided to join the Musicians Union https://musiciansunion.org.uk/ some months ago and it was one of the best things I have done so far in my musical journey. The information is clear and precise and there is a lot of helpful information. I have also availed of some of their free webinars which have been invaluable to me as someone who has never been in the music industry before. I discovered which organisations I needed to join and why. I decided that rather than trying to do a little bit of everything at the same time, I should tackle one task at a time, in order. I was getting overwhelmed with everything, losing focus and getting downright confused. Taking things a step at a time worked for me.

I joined PPL https://www.ppluk.com/ which is the UK music licensing organisation and started to make my way through the membership process. The website is easy to navigate and again, lots of useful information. It is free to join (which is a bonus) and I know a lot of people would just tick ‘I agree’ to the various agreements you need to complete and sign but I have to read each one, every single term and condition and if I didn’t understand one I would research it. In my head I kept saying that with 130,000 members everything must be sound, I still had to check. Must be down to my prior roles in international law firms and my accountancy training. I just had to check. However, this became a long drawn out process for me. So much to read and research. Then when it came to completing the forms it was decision time. Did I want UK and Ireland or Worldwide? If I wanted to include Europe, France have a different music licensing system and I needed to select which one I wanted to collect royalties on my behalf. More research. I got that far and left the process for a while…

When I returned, my membership process had now split into three parts; performer, audio and video. More terms and conditions. At one stage I thought I had made a total balls up of the process and rang the membership enquires line. The lady I spoke to was fabulous. Very helpful, very friendly and she was interested in my story. I continued with the process, submitted everything and 24 hours later I received the emails to confirm that I was now a full member and licensed to play my music and videos containing my music. Oh my goodness, the excitement is unreal. It was so worth digging down into the research and learning about what I was doing. I also received my ISRC tag which is the unique identifier for each of my songs so that PPL can collect any royalites due on my behalf. And this is where I return to confidence. All through this process, which took me quite a while on and off, I wondered what I was doing and why was I doing it. When the memberships came through it gave me a huge confidence boost. I was a step closer to getting my music out there, to launching myself as a musician, a singer, a songwriter, on the world. It gave me the boost to start believing in myself more.

The next step is uploading my music to PPL and also choosing a music aggregation company in order to make my music available for purchase and streaming on the various music platforms. I had a look yesterday at ‘uploading your repertoire’. Let’s get the coffee on and I’ll come back to that!

Never underestimate the power of caffeine and confidence.

With love and sparkles xxx

Travel Sparkles.

A Surprise Getaway

October 23, 2021October 22, 2021 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.2 Comments

During a Houseparty video call my cousin said ‘Dawn, the flights are £9.99 each way, book and come out for a week’. So I did! I admit I was apprehensive about travelling even though restrictions had been lifted. I decided that if I didn’t go for it, I would keep putting it off and end up never going back out there. I completed the relevant forms, downloaded apps, booked flights and packed my cabin bag. I was ready for off.

Restrictions were in place at Birmingham Airport and people complied. All documentation was checked, I had a row to myself on the plane and mask wearing was mandatory. All documentation was checked at Arrecife, Lanzarote’s airport and the bus company had provided individual taxi’s rather than the usual mini bus to Costa Teguise. Oh how good it felt to feel the warmth of the Spanish September sunshine. We took so much for granted before the pandemic. We could choose to go away for a trip, research the trip, book and go. It’s a very different story now with the various rules and regulations and I felt very lucky to actually be in Lanzarote after such a long time.

It’s so lovely to wake up everyday to beautiful sunshine, to know there was nothing to do but relax, stroll, swim and enjoy the day. After the previous few months dealing with and healing from burnout, this week away arrived at just the right time.

We walked every day, we swam and I was so pleased with myself. I went from four lengths of the pool to fourteen. Although we had our treats, especially some delicious cocktails and ice creams, I didn’t gain any weight, what a result!!! I can only put it down to the exercise. So much easier to go out for a long walk in the sunshine than the cold and pouring rain. Note to self – must push myself to exercise more over the Winter.

The Black Russian with the Guinness top was the best cocktail ever!!

Summer clothes were bought and worn. Lockdown weight gain had ensured my usual Summer wardrobe no longer fitted me (a definite note to self – fit into your clothes for next Summer). There was something so healing and gentle about having the week with my cousin in Lanzarote. Regular readers of my blog will know I love Spain and all things Spanish. I was so happy out there. There’s something very therapeutic about being away from home. I can’t worry or stress about anything because I’m not there to deal with it and that thought somehow completely relaxes me.

Back home and feeling empowered to follow my dreams. My cousin is wise and when I am caught up in my head with all the things I am doing, want to do, need to do, hope to do and yet nothing is getting done because of demands on time. Talking things through with her helped as she forced me to see the obvious way forward which I hadn’t been able to see as I was trying to do everything with no real organisation which isn’t really like me at all. Anyway, since the week away I am far more organised, I have implemented a more structured approach to my week and what I’m doing. No-one can make things happen but me. I am definitely emerging from the hard times and leaving some things and some people behind. Life evolves, time evolves, people evolve. We learn lessons and we teach lessons. Sometimes we need the break from the day to day to put life into perspective, take an outside view and move forwards.

Self belief is a must, whatever it is, we can do it. Take the first step and go for it.

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles

Energy

September 13, 2021September 3, 2021 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

My mental energy appears to be through the roof at the moment. It must be all the rest and sleep I have been getting. I have thoughts and ideas coming to me about my music, my blog, my website, the garden, you get the drift. It’s all very positive and I’m loving the flow of ideas. I’m writing things down in my many notes books (you’ll remember I wrote a post on my obsession with notebooks and lists). Messages I receive from people about my music page, or a motivational quote I have posted, increase the sparkle. I’ve been told that the motivational posts are infectious and give people a real lift in the mornings. I’m so happy about this, somehow if I have helped someone have a good start to the day, it feels great. I love motivational posts. I do have a fairly sarcastic humour at times so I’m always careful about what I post. I don’t want to upset anyone yet you have to be free to be yourself. Isn’t that what social media is about? Freedom of expression. I will post very different things on FB, Twitter and Instagram. They have very different audiences indeed. I get a lot more interaction on Instagram than anywhere else. I’ve even started learning how to use TikTok. It appears to be the place to be for singers and musicians. It’s all good, my brain is active and learning and I keep getting ideas, ideas and more ideas.

After the success of the three FB lives earlier this year, I appear to have lost my momentum and I have become a queen of procrastination. So I have all this mental energy, all these ideas and I make notes, research, investigate and yet I’m not making things happen. The confidence has taken a knock and I have no idea why. The burnout tiredness hasn’t helped in one way and yet in another, the peace, quietness and reflection has me now full of this wonderful energy. So why I am not putting things into action? I can’t answer that. I don’t know why I have this fear of putting myself out there again and singing out. There is nothing to stop me, I have the equipment, I have the backing tracks and song lyrics and I have a voice yet I’m finding excuses not to do it. I’m encouraging others to step out of their comfort zone, take the leap of faith and make it happen and here I am finding myself back on the edges of my comfort zone, not making it happen.

My physical tiredness is at last starting to ease so I have absolutely no excuse for not getting things done with my music. I have my new laptop now and I can recommence the Women In Music Tech course and learn how to use Ableton so that I can eventually record, mix and release my own music. I’m working with my guitar tutor on four songs I have written with a view to recording them in October. I have songs already recorded that I can release when I sort out the music aggregation so you see, I have it all in hand. Yes, in hand but not out there. I need to take a huge piece of my own advice and just go with it.

Yes I need to get out of my way and make things happen, it’s down to me and I can do this!!!

With love and sparkles xxx

Life Sparkles

Comfort and Perspective

July 12, 2021July 8, 2021 Dawn - The Sparkle Diaries.Leave a comment

Is it just me or does anyone else find themselves changing as they get older? I don’t mean in looks or body shape but in what makes you comfortable. I have discovered that I see things from a different perspective and I’m not sure if that’s a new me breaking through with the value of life experience or if this is part of the old me breaking through once more. Perhaps it is a little of both. As my caring journey unfolded it was very much that I didn’t really exist as the priority was my parents. My life was completely on hold and I have no issue with that at all. It was a requirement of the role I was carrying out in looking after them. It’s taking a little time and now I feel bits of the old me coming back and also the lessons that life has taught and continues to teach me as my life progresses.

I think too that the various lockdowns due to the Covid-19 pandemic has also changed my perspective on life and perhaps this too is because the pandemic arrived quite quickly after my parents passed away so it was a continuous transition. I’ve written in earlier blog posts that I found the lockdown healing and therapeutic and I know that I am very lucky in that as for a lot of people the lockdown was soul destroying, isolating and disruptive to their lives. Maybe because I hadn’t been out of the house very much during the caring years, I was used to a type of home lockdown and I was able to adapt better than a lot of people.

This past two years for me has been a period of ongoing evaluation. It’s very difficult when life changes suddenly and life as you knew it just stops. I know that I found my strength and independence from within. I realised that I had been taught to be that way by my parents and family. It’s now that I feel I am emerging and although I am the same I’m also very different. I know that doesn’t make sense and yet it does. My core values remain the same; honesty, trust, love, truth, kindness and laughter. I also realise that I need to be a little more selfish with my time. This is now my time. I have no real commitments a I did before so it’s down to me to make my choices and spend my time wisely. None of us know how long we have here.

I have stepped away from toxic and negative people so that I have peace in my life. Social media has been wonderful for connecting me to some wonderful people. Authors, musicians, poets, dancers, artists and beautiful, kind hearted, warm kindred spirits. People who support you, who you support and cheer on. Deep conversations are held as are lighthearted chats about shows on TV or Netflix. It’s all good and it’s all happy. There is no pressure, no arguments, just pleasure.

I spend time with himself and help to care of his Mom. I see my cousins and a couple of very close friends and I’m happy with that. My perspective as the social butterfly that I was pre carer role has completely changed and I’m comfortable with that. Maybe because I am getting older and have experienced various life lessons, I truly understand about the little things meaning so much. I know that this is my time to push my comfort zone, work hard and follow my passion. I am comfortable with that thought even though somedays it’s scares me so much. I know deep down I will love it.

Be comfortable in your life but keep pushing that comfort zone to experience all you can. Look at things from a different perspective, you just don’t know what you may find. Life is for living so make sure you live every single day. Be a little selfish with your time and do what sets your soul on fire.

With love and sparkles xxx