Life Sparkles

Christmas Eve Magic.

Well Christmas Eve didn’t turn out as planned at all. Mom decided to stay in bed, (Sundowning), Dad got an infection in his arm which is extremely swollen and painful. Thank God for our NHS and out of hours Doctors – we are so lucky!

I managed to dash to the cemetery to leave some Christmas flowers for my Sister, call quickly to my niece, where I was due to have dinner, and then home where things were beginning to settle somewhat. Mom and I baked mince pies…which I burnt. I definitely don’t have my Mother’s cooking skills!

Then this evening I became unwell, so no Midnight Mass for me for the first time in years. I was upset but I know my body needs rest, it is under a lot of stress and pressure and it is telling me to slow up. We watched Midnight Mass via the live stream from Knock Shrine in County Mayo, Ireland which was beautiful.

Mom and Dad have often told me about Christmas when they were little and how they received Christmas Stockings. This year I have prepared a stocking each for them, complete with Satsumas! I’ll be playing Santa very soon.


On this holiest and magical of nights, I wish you a wonderfully Happy and Healthy Christmas. I hope it truly #Sparkles 🎄🌟

Life Sparkles

Let’s Start Again…Diet and Exercise

I have lost count of the times this year I have “started” to be healthy. Eat the right food, drink plenty of water, exercise. I start off so well with great intentions and then whoops…there goes that chocolate bar…oh dear, did I really just eat that cupcake…are those unattended biscuits I see on the plate?

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Being the main carer it is important that I keep myself healthy in order to look after my parents. However, being the main carer also means that generally I don’t sit down and eat meals, I tend to grab what I can and eat on the go either at home or when I get to the office in the afternoon’s, everything is rushed, or at least appears to be.

I love fruit and vegetables and I do eat a lot of them. I love fish and chips, Indian food and pizza and I do try to keep those delights for treat nights. I need to try harder.

I love walking, I re-started running a few weeks ago as strangely I really enjoyed it when I started running for the first time in January this year. It was a huge achievement for me to run 5k for Cancer Research in June. I am very surprised at how quickly I lost the fitness I had gained and I really want to re-gain it.

I have become more conscious of how what we eat affects our bodies and how exercise affects our hearts and brains. Everywhere you look there are articles about eating healthy, moving more, getting fresh air and protecting ourselves from the onset of diseases in later life.


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I have 14 pounds to lose, just one stone. My clothes are tight, I can’t get into some of my favourite dresses and as for my jeans…let’s not go there!! Although I’m not stressing about this I know I’ll feel better when the excess weight has gone. As I get older I notice the fat distribution area has changed, it is predominantly the tummy area which can be the worst area to carry fat, health wise.

So, once again, I’m starting to get healthy. Time to eat healthier, fresh, non-processed foods. To move more, to walk more, to build up the running, to dance even if it is just around my bedroom. To leave the chocolate, cupcakes and the fish and chips to treat days and to look after my body, my mind and my wellbeing. I want to be as fit and healthy as I can to care for my parents, they are depending on me. I want to be as fit and healthy as I can for me, for my later life and I’m thinking I need to start preparing now. I know there is no guarantee that I will be fit and healthy in my older years but at least I’ll have done what I can to try…if I can just stick to my healthy plan…bring on the willpower!!


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Thank you for reading my blog 😀

Life Sparkles

Caring. Who Cares?  

Who cares? Was the first chapter in one of my study modules a few years ago. The actual point of the chapter is not so much about the person requiring care but about the caregiver. Who cares for the caregiver?

Over the past seven months I have become more and more of a caregiver to my Mom after her fall and breaking of her hip. The hip has healed just fine, Mom walks more and more without the walking frame but Mom has changed. Before the hip fall, for about four years, we experienced very black days, Mom’s mood was nothing short of scary. However since the hip fall, those moods have given way to something else. 

It appears that Mom had very little Iron in her body and has been taking Iron supplements which have really improved a number of things; mood, stability, concentration and confusion, normal Mom has returned!! That’s all great but now we experience ‘Sundown Dementia’ which it appears affects people who do not have, or have not been diagnosed with dementia as well as people who do have dementia. Mom does not have dementia, this is not me saying so, the healthcare teams have confirmed this. Sundown Dementia affects people’s body clocks, especially in the Winter time when days are dark most of the time. My father and I have spent many a night awake and with Mom as she tries to break out of the house to go home. She accuses us of keeping her prisoner. I get called all names you can think of and then some. It switches on and off like a light switch and we experience an all nighter about once every three weeks. I am not liked at all by my Mom some days and that hurts a lot, but the next day, the next hour, all is well, till next time. We can get smaller sundown moments during the day but we have found that if sufficient water is drank, it is almost a miracle cure!! Getting Mom to drink water is another story…

I’m lucky that my boss is so understanding and I’ve been allowed to work from home and phase a return to the office. This has worked well at home but still causes me anxiety as I await a phone call that something is wrong with either Mom or Dad. I’ve suddenly become responsible for almost everything from healthcare to shopping, cooking to entertainer, cleaner to, well, carer. It’s hard. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem doing this for my parents. Sometimes though I wonder where have I gone? How has every minute of the day become consumed with items on my ‘to do’ lists.

Lack of sleep, stress and anxiousness lead me to the doctor myself. I cannot be ill. Who cares for them if I’m not here. After some tests the doctor was satisfied that my symptoms were all stress related. I had to find some ways to relieve some pressure and get some me time.

If you’ve read my blogs before you know I do Zumba once a week, I’ve taken up running following the ‘Couch to 5k’ plan (that’s a whole other blog post), I love to sing and am visiting my vocal coach each week and if I get the opportunity to see my b/f now and again it’s a bonus. These things have truly helped me to escape, in mind, body and spirit, even for half an hour. I never thought that a fifteen minute soak in the bath would ever become a rare treat for me. That a day out walking with himself was so special because I can’t go missing for a whole day anymore. I feel sad, anxious, depressed and tearful and yet I also feel happy, joyful and I’ve not lost my sparkle. After all, you just have to paint on that smile and get on with it. My parents gave up time and effort to bring me up, it’s payback time.

  
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Life Sparkles

Tailspin!

Looking back on the last week that’s how life has felt, like I’ve been in a tailspin. I’ve felt tired, I’ve experienced feeling envious of other people’s lives, I’ve asked myself “why not me”? I’ve felt anxious to the point of feeling my heart beat pounding in my chest and telling myself to “get a grip”. I got up Wednesday morning unable to put weight on my right knee walking downstairs, today the pain has moved to the right hip!!! What is going on? This is not me? 

A little time of silence and quiet thought made me think back over the past months and how a lot of what was my normal routine has changed completely. I am now responsible for my parents healthcare, wellbeing and that’s scary. I am now in charge of the home, I go to work, I’m trying to keep up with my studies and to follow my passion for singing along with finding time to see my lovely boyfriend and be in contact with my friends. Thank goodness for social media 😎

I’m not alone in this, I understand that people all over the world find themselves in the same situation as I am in. But it has taken my tailspin of last week to appreciate how lucky I am to be given the role of looking after my parents and all the other components of my life. Yes, it isn’t without stress but it is also an education, more life experience and a story of love in many guises.

I’ve realised too that by feeling unwell I need to pull myself together and start eating healthier more often. The breakfast smoothie is a winner but not if I spend the evening picking at chocolate and shortbread biscuits. I need to walk more. I need to lose that stone. I need to have more energy and feel better if I am to carry out my numerous roles properly.

I have three concerts/dances coming up in March and April, my favourite Irish country music stars will be visiting my city. I want to have the energy to sing and dance and immerse myself in the night out.

That’s an awful lot of wants and needs but you know what, it starts now.  I truly believe there is nothing we can’t do if we set our minds to it. Mind over matter. Self belief. Self Confidence. Ignite the sparkle in your heart and soul and go for it ✨

  
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I’m about to head off for a walk…thank you for reading my blog 💖

Life Sparkles

Self Care – Keep Your Own Sparkle.

Oh how I have advised people in the past about taking care of themselves, not overworking, eating properly, getting more sleep, you know the kind of thing.  As always, we are not so good at taking our own advice.

I’m tired, there, I  admit it, the last two months have more or less worn me out.  I empathise with carers so much more now that I have an understanding of their plight, looking after a loved one.  I at least have the knowledge that Mom is recovering slowly from the broken hip and each day gains a little more power in her leg, gains independence and also confidence in her walking.  I am still working from home but this week sees me begin a slow, phased return to the office, one afternoon only.  But it has been very tiring, caring for my parents, cooking, cleaning, shopping, working the day job from home, catching up with studies and attempting to follow my love of singing.

I’ve not done badly, I have returned to Zumba class on Wednesday evening which I love.  The music is so wonderful you just escape into that Latin Beat, the moves can be difficult but it really doesn’t feel like a work out and although I ache afterwards, it is a good ache.  I’ve escaped for an hour for some me time and yes, that is important.  At first I felt selfish at leaving the house to attend the class but my lovely Mom, bless her, said I needed to do something for myself and get out of the house.

Last week I returned to my vocal coaching and oh how good that felt.  The drive there, the hour going through my breathing exercises, the vocal scales and then singing a couple of the songs I had been working on, it was like a release of the soul.  Thankfully, although I had not been to my vocal coach since mid August, it seems I have not lost my pitch and my breathing hasn’t gone to pot, phew!!  This week I have been learning “You raise me up”, surprisingly not many lyrics to this song but a lot of variation in notes.

These two small steps have helped me to feel like me again.  I can see how easily it can be to get lost within yourself, when you are indoors 24/7 and suddenly plunged into a different life course.  How apt that my current studies are about our perceived life course and our plans and how things we do, or perhaps things that happen to others can alter our lives.

Tomorrow afternoon I face the wide world of the city centre when I venture to the office for the first time since mid – September…I’ll keep you posted.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

And Breathe...take care of you!
And Breathe…take care of you!
Life Sparkles

The ‘Start Again’ Sparkle.

A week on and I can’t report a truly successful week of healthy eating. I slipped up more than once with a chocolate biscuit or three and all within a day of writing my blog post about getting motivated to eat a healthier diet and move more. The intention was there but I just couldn’t seem to resist the sweet choices, the odd crisp, chips, slice of cake…oh I could go on but I think you’ve got my drift. My best intentions didn’t manifest into reality. Well, that’s just the way it is, I tried but not hard enough, even when that biscuit hit my lips, I can’t say I enjoyed it but I couldn’t stop myself from eating it. I craved the chocolate, the sugar and felt yucky for doing so.

I’m not going to beat myself up for this almighty fail, I’m human, my willpower was non existent and that was that. I’m thinking that now you are expecting me to say I’ve given up. NO!! I have no intention of giving up. If anything my huge non healthy eating week has made me more determined to succeed.

For some reason almost every article I’ve looked at online or in a book or newspaper over the past few days has been about healthy eating and exercise. Someone somewhere wants me to see this!! I woke up Sunday morning inspired. I want to be healthy for a very long time to come. Actually I want to be healthier than I am now. I want to shake off that sluggish feeling for good, I want my body to sparkle with inner health and I want to stop putting too much fats, sugars and let’s face it, chemicals into my system.

  
Picture via Pinterest.

I need to be healthy to cope with my caring responsibilities, to carry out my day job, to find time to study and to follow my passion, singing.

I’ve been shopping, I’ve loaded my cupboards, fridge and freezer with good healthy food. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t any goodies…of course there are but these will be now taken in moderation and not as a staple requirement. I’m not going for immediate, total changeover because I know I won’t stick with that, I’ll get bored. I will however try, one meal at a time. I’ve done that for two days now. I feel good about that. All is not lost and perhaps my biscuit binge of last week was just what I needed to get me going this week.

  
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I’m off to a good start this week…let’s see how strength of mind and willpower perform from now on.

Thank you for reading my blog 😎

Life Sparkles

My Monday Motivation 

Something I start quite often is a healthy eating regime and for a while I do very well. I’m lucky because I do love fruit and vegetables but I’m not a huge fan of meat. I’ve not eaten Red meat for over twenty years, I just went off the taste. I eat Chicken and Turkey and that’s about it meat wise. However, as much as I enjoy fruit and vegetables, I enjoy chocolate a whole lot more. I’m not big on cake but recently biscuits of all types have almost become my staple diet!!! Over the past weeks I have said to myself in the evening “tomorrow you start eating healthy and moving your body again”. Each day has gone well until just after lunchtime and my hand reaches for the biscuits once again. “This has got to stop”, I tell myself. Well tonight, I’m writing to you that yes, it is going to stop!!
  
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I know for sure that the change in “normal” life over the past six to seven weeks has been the cause of my total derailment of eating proper food. Because I have been so busy in my caring role, I’ve grabbed what I can to eat to keep myself going. I have grabbed totally the wrong foods and really I have no excuse for that as I am cooking healthy food for my parents. Because I have been working from home to carry out my “day job” I feel I have to worker longer hours, get more done, because I go missing from the laptop throughout the day to care for my Mom. I sit down too much, hunched over the laptop. I find myself doing all the things I tell my friends not to do. Time to take myself in hand and make some changes!

I’m not talking about dieting although I’m sure that I would benefit from losing at least a stone. I’m more interested in being as healthy as I can be, feeling energised and not sluggish. That my skin glows with health, my nails return to strength and my hair feels strong again. How easy it is to forget the wonderful benefits of eating correctly.

  
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During one of my vocal coaching sessions I asked my tutor about foods or drinks I should or shouldn’t take that could affect my breathing or voice. She had one simple response, “eat and drink as healthily as you can and your general health and voice will reap the benefits”. She also added “don’t be too strict with yourself though, everyone deserves a treat…in moderation”. Of course, we all know this but somehow we tend to forget it when those chocolates appear, the cupcake with our coffee and the ice cream dessert on a night out and “now and again” becomes an every night treat.

And so, because I want to stay healthy for as long as I can, because I want to take care of my body and because I want to achieve my country music dreams…from tomorrow, my Monday Motivation will be:

Drink more water, eat fresh food, move more…Are you with me?

  
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Thank you for reading my blog ☘✨